Valentine's Day Gifts For Fishermen

Who could resist a "Kiss My Bass" shirt from Fishboy? For the man who's "true" love has fins and a tail. Makes a great Valentine's Day present! Order early for best selection!

Sometimes Two Mouths Are Better Than One

Hey, check out this trout - it has two mouths!


No one from Clarence Olberding’s family ever made it to Harvard University but now his two-mouthed rainbow trout will get the chance. James Lee, a teaching assistant in the ichthyology department at Harvard University, called Olberding Thursday morning about his unusual catch and asked if he would donate it to the prestigious university. Related story: A fish with two mouths?


“He said he was studying fish jaws as part of an ichthyology study and would like to have the fish head,” Olberding said.

Lee couldn’t be reached for comment.

Olberding caught the fish while ice fishing at Holmes Lake last Saturday. The trout has a normal mouth and another non-functional mouth just below it.



Nebraska Game and Parks Commission fisheries officials speculate that the rare deformity may be the result of a genetic mutation.

Olberding, 57, plans to smoke the meaty part of the trout and eat it. But the head will be sent off to Harvard sometime next week in a frozen jell pack.

The two-mouthed trout has gotten a lot of attention on the Internet and from media nationwide. Olberding also has received calls from Florida and California, where he told his fish story on a live radio talk show.

“I wish I would have kept it intact and had it mounted but I think it’s going to the right place,” he said.

Fishing captain could get 20 years for lobster offenses

USA. Fishing captain could get 20 years for lobster offenses
Wednesday, 21 December 2005
Coastguard News


A North Dartmouth man who was the captain of two New Bedford-based fishing vessels has pleaded guilty in federal court to conspiracy to violate the Lacey Act - the federal wildlife trafficking statute, making false statements to Coast Guard officials and obstruction of justice in connection with a four-year-long conspiracy of commanding his crew members to remove the eggs of female lobsters so that they could be sold in port.

United States Attorney Michael J. Sullivan; Andrew Cohen, Special Agent in Charge of the Northeast Enforcement Division of National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Fisheries Service, Office of Law Enforcement; Captain Mark Landry, Chief of Law Enforcement, First Coast Guard District; and James Hanlon, Acting Director of the Massachusetts Environmental Police, announced today that Jose Silva, age 50, of North Dartmouth, pleaded guilty before U.S. District Judge George A. O'Toole to an Indictment charging him with one count of conspiracy to violate the Lacey Act, two counts of violating the Lacey Act, one count of making a false statement to Coast Guard boarding officers, and one count of obstruction of justice.

At the plea hearing the prosecutor told the Court that, had the case proceeded to trial, the evidence would have proven that over a four-year period, Silva, as the captain of the New Bedford-based fishing vessels Lutador and Lutador II, commanded his crew to remove the eggs of thousands of female lobsters and "v-notched" female lobsters. Federal and state law prohibit the taking of female egg-bearing lobsters as a way of protecting the viability of the lobster fishery. Federal law requires that fisherman who catch female lobsters return them to the sea. Lobster fisherman customarily cut a v-shaped notch in the tales of female lobsters so that other fishermen who later catch the same lobsters will know that they are females capable of bearing eggs. Federal law also prohibits the taking of v-notched lobsters.

Silva knew that catching egg-bearing and v-notched lobsters was illegal, yet during numerous voyages over a four-year period, he instructed his crew to retain egg-bearing and v- notched lobsters, "scrub" or "wash" off their eggs with a hose, and store them on board for eventual sale in port. Silva later instructed his crew that they should tell no one about the practice, and directed them to store the lobsters in hidden compartments in the vessel's fish hold so that the Coast Guard would not discover them.

On March 7, 2004, the Coast Guard boarded the Lutador II near Quick's Hole, Massachusetts as it was returning to New Bedford. During the boarding, Silva told the Coast Guard that there were no lobsters in the vessel's fish hold, when in fact he knew there were hundreds. After the Coast Guard discovered the lobsters during the course of their inspection, Silva, submitted to the Coast Guard an inventory of his catch on which he knowingly understated the amount of lobster on board. He later told crew members to tell the Coast Guard that the crew removed lobster eggs during the trip without Silva's knowledge. In connection with this last trip, SILVA paid an administrative fine to the National Marine Fisheries Service's Office of Law Enforcement.

Judge O'Toole scheduled sentencing for March 22, 2006. Silva faces up to 5 years' imprisonment for each count, except the obstruction of justice count, for which he would face a maximum of 20 years' imprisonment. Each of the counts also carry a potential fine of $250,000 and 3 years supervised release.

The case was investigated by the Northeast Enforcement Division of National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Fisheries Service, Office of Law Enforcement, the U.S. Coast Guard and the Massachusetts Environmental Police. It is being prosecuted by Assistant U.S. Attorney Jon Mitchell in Sullivan's Economic Crimes Unit.

Last Updated ( Wednesday, 21 December 2005 )

Bratz Dolls - Raising The Slut Generation

Any parent who buys into this entire line of sleaze dolls should have their heads examine. What values are you trying to pass on to the next generation? The values of MTV and music videos? Shame on you for not standing up to the marketing machine that has created this disgusting line of dolls.

Previous generations have had to contend with the Barbie line and its impossible body shape and ever increasing emphaise our outer beauty. The Bratz line takes us even farther down the sewer with the shallow, sexy-bomb personas of the Bratz girls. If they marketed them as stripper dolls it might actually be closer to the truth then simply bratty girls. Which by the way actually used to be a trait people would discourage rather than celebrate in the form of a plaything. Maybe that is the relationship, plaything toy for future playthings?

After the "Lil'" Bratz line whats next? Sleezy toys for your toddler?

Time warp to 16 or probably more likely 13 when your teenager wants to go to school dressed like one of these these slutty dolls. Simply sick.

Those who don't ice fish have another think coming

By Ron Schara, Star Tribune

People who don't go ice fishing think they're not missing much.

They also think that staring at a hole in the ice can't be much fun for very long. But what do they know?

Sure, holes in the ice look pretty much the same, it's true. But people who don't ice fish also don't realize what devoted winter anglers think about when there's nothing happening in the ice hole, which is often the case.

People who don't ice fish tend to be wrong about a lot of things. For example, ice fishing is much more exciting than it appears. Sure, there are a few dull moments, but "Monday Night Football" has 'em, too.

Watching a still bobber gets old but so do most Tom Cruise movies.

Believe it or not, there are actually memorable moments in the sport of ice fishing.

You don't hear about 'em much because, unlike summer vacations where folks take a bunch of photographs of themselves acting foolish or holding up big fish, wintertime anglers aren't big on spending a week in an ice shack or taking snapshots of the fellas with their empty bottle of blackberry brandy.

Nevertheless, the memorable moments are for real.

My brother, Robert, still remembers the night his friend's pickup truck headed for the bottom of Lake Koronis with him in it. Thank goodness, Robert and his buddy both escaped unharmed.

Three months later, they also were reunited with the pickup. It was a little soggy but otherwise salvageable. They found the truck, thanks to one of those Aqua-Vu underwater cameras. Crappies were swimming around in the truck bed, Robert said.

He won't forget.

People who don't go ice fishing probably don't realize that fish are actually caught.

It's easy to make fun of winter anglers because of their reputation for having all-night parties in their ice shacks until everybody falls asleep with their Sorel boots still on.

The truth is, ice fishing has nothing to do with being a party animal.

It's really about catching something. Or trying.

Truly, there's a magic moment when one's bobber begins to sink. What fish awaits? What size? Such is the joy of angling, and it transcends all seasons.

I shall never forget a long sled dog ride into the BWCAW to reach Knife Lake within a snowball's toss of Dorothy Molter's historic island. We drilled a few holes and sunk a few cutbaits for lake trout and pinched small flags on lines and waited. Within mere minutes, a line and flag began to move into the hole like a ribbon snake. Fish on.

For two hours the line flags moved, and lake trout soon flopped on the ice.

When winter fishing follows the script, it's a memory.

Some ice anglers seem to have a sixth sense about where to drill the hole. A fella named Ivan Burandt has that talent. He's a Mille Lacs guide, winter or summer. One winter day, we tagged along with our television cameras as Ivan searched for a walleye bite. It was the middle of the day. Ivan dropped a jigging spoon, tipped with the head of a fathead minnow.

Thunk. Fish on. More memories.

The fraternity of ice anglers also has a winter guru, of sorts. He's a Minnesota fella by the name of Dave Genz. They say he's Mr. Ice Fisherman. And he is. He's invented a bunch of winter fishing stuff, Clam houses and the like. He's concocted lures, ice rods, you name it. It's a business now for Genz, but it wasn't always that way.

He got into ice fishing to start with because he ... well, loves it.

People who don't ice fish don't understand loving it.

One of my fondest memories is about an ice fisherman whose name I don't know. One day I noticed him, sitting alone on a 5-gallon bucket in the vastness of the Mille Lacs icescape. He was wrapped in a coonskin coat and, near as I could tell, he hadn't moved from his bucket for hours.

I couldn't stand it. How can any sane man sit still for that long, I wondered. Minutes later, I wandered over to the fella. He didn't look up until I was almost staring into the same ice hole that he was. I popped the question: How can you sit here so long?

"Well," he said, pausing. "as I look in the hole, I imagine I'm staring at a giant martini and my bobber's the olive."

People who don't ice fish probably don't like martinis.

Frankenfish Are Coming!

Snakeheads prey on native species. They've been spotted at Philly.
By Christian Berg
Of The Morning Call


''Frankenfish'' are swimming in the Delaware River.

Pennsylvania Fish and Boat Commission officials have confirmed what they long suspected: northern snakeheads — aggressive, predatory fish imported from Asia — are in the river and probably growing in number.


''This is certainly not a shocking discovery,'' said agency spokesman Dan Tredinnick, noting that snakeheads first showed up in Meadow Lake at Philadelphia's FDR Park in July 2004.

''We said from the get-go that we fully expected they would be seen in the Schuylkill and the Delaware, given the nature of that lake, which has tidal influence and is almost directly connected to the river system.''

Snakeheads first showed up in a Maryland pond in 2002. They were dubbed Frankenfish because of their voracious appetite, menacing looks and ability to travel short distances over land by using their fins as legs. They can live out of water for several days.

Now that snakeheads are in the Delaware, officials say they could eventually spread throughout the drainage, possibly even swimming upstream to the Lehigh Valley and taking a left turn into the Lehigh River at Easton.

Blaine Mengel Jr., a professional bass-fishing guide from Bethlehem who makes much of his living on the Delaware and Schuylkill rivers, said Friday he isn't particularly worried about the snakehead threat.

''At this point, I don't lose any sleep over it,'' he said. ''Until I see them coming up this far, or hear of other anglers catching them, then I'll get a little concerned about it.''

Fisheries biologists say the snakehead, which has a hearty appetite and can reproduce quickly, could displace native species or disrupt the aquatic ecosystem. Exotic species can bring parasites and diseases or cause genetic pollution of closely related species, according to the commission.

The Delaware is renowned among anglers for excellent populations of smallmouth bass, striped bass, walleyes, catfish, shad, various panfish and other species.

''Snakeheads are a relatively new phenomenon in this country, so there isn't a whole lot of long-term documentation as to what their impact is,'' Tredinnick said. ''There is a delicate balance in the ecosystem between predators, prey and habitat.''

Tredinnick said a New Jersey man fishing off a pier near the Philadelphia Navy Yard caught an 8-inch, adult snakehead in September. The fisherman kept it in his freezer until October, when he mailed it to the commission. Its identity was confirmed last week.

The snakehead caught in the Delaware is the first confirmed specimen outside Meadow Lake. However, Tredinnick said officials assume there are more and that snakeheads are already well established in the river.

''In a waterway as large as the Delaware River, there's really nothing pro-active that can be done in terms of going after them,'' Tredinnick said. ''We consider our role at this point one of monitoring.''

He said anglers who catch snakeheads should kill the fish and notify the agency.

''If you catch one, what we would like you to do is euthanize it and dispose of it properly,'' Tredinnick said. ''If you want to eat it, eat it. If you want to throw it in a trash can, throw it in a trash can. What we don't want people doing is returning them to the water.''

Possession of a live snakehead is illegal in Pennsylvania and punishable by a $100 fine or up to 20 days in jail. Earlier this year, Rep. Doug Reichley, R-Lehigh, sponsored legislation that would make the penalties even stiffer by increasing snakehead possession from a summary offense to a third-degree misdemeanor.

Reichley said his measure was developed to highlight the seriousness of the snakehead issue. His legislation, House Bill 1320, was adopted by the House 195-0 on Oct. 17 and is being considered by the Senate Game and Fisheries Committee.

Snakeheads exist in at least eight other states — New York, Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina, Illinois, Massachusetts, Florida and California. A related species, the giant snakehead, has been found in Wisconsin's Rock River.

Commission officials say they have no idea how northern snakeheads got into Meadow Lake, but it is likely they were released into it.

Nearly 17,000 snakeheads, worth nearly $86,000, were imported into the United States between 1997 and 2000, either as aquarium fish or as a delicacy served in Asian restaurants, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.

After regulations were changed in 2002 to ban the fish as ''injurious wildlife,'' officials believe that restaurateurs and others simply dumped them in local waters to avoid penalties.

Poinsettias Are Dumb

Poinsettias are dumb. At least here in Maine.

You know the joke about selling refrigerators to Eskimos? I don't know about that but what I do know is that buying Christmas Poinsettias here in Maine is really dumb. Tropical plants and cold Maine winters just don't mix. But that doesn't mean you won't see plenty of suckers walking out of the supermarket with one of these little red and green botanical wonders tucked under their arm.

Oh the Christmas joy on their faces as they walk through the automatic doors into a blast of freezing cold winter wind. Of course the poinsettia instantly dies and by the time the purchaser gets home all they have left is a stick in a fancy gold foil wrapped pot. But next year they'll be at it again, swooning over the short lived red and green glory.

Fishboy Goes Hollywood

Fishboy in the movies! Check out this cool movie "Stripers at Raccoon Lake"
on tips, tricks and tactics for catching one of Indiana's premier game fish, the striper! Featuring Mark "Willie" Williams, International Game and Fish Association, Certified Captain of Inland Lake Fishing Charters.

The movie provides an in depth discussion on umbrella rigs, east coast techniques, mega bait strategies, parachute jigs used on Indiana Lakes to catch trophy striper.

Best of all, check out Fishboy's Fishoglyph Hat featured through out the movie!

The movie runs 23 minutes and you can watch it right online. Click here to see the movie.

Thanks Willie!

Coastal Snow Effect In Seal Cove

Today in Seal Cove, Maine its snowing like crazy. Nice fluffy, cold stuff unlike the heavy wet stuff we got a few days ago. Funny thing is that the weathermen and gals all predicted 0% of percip. for today. Chalk that up to coastal effect I suppose.

Good thing I added that cinderblock to the back of the Fishmobile. That plus the added weight of Christmas packages going out to good little fishermen and women around the country.

Despite the weather trips to the tiny post office here in Seal Cove is almost always eventful. Besides catching up on some local news and weather with post master Donna, the one point four mile trip back from the post office always seems to have some unique driving feature. In the summer its often a tourist stopped dead in the middle of the state highway looking at a map. It is a state highway even if it appears to be a quite country lane with it terrible paving that hasn't been fixed in 27 years.

A few days ago during the last snow storm I had to dodge two snowmobiles screaming down the road. So much for letting the kids out of school early. Today I had old guy backing out of his driveway right into the highway without looking. I saw it coming so I stop dead in the road. He finally looks over and sees me and then pulls back into his driveway. Then I got to see this monster, jacked up, four wheel drive pick up truck (you know almost monster truck type?) do a nice 180 trying to turn on to Cape Road. As they say, four wheel drive does nothing about ice. Ayuh, its just the beginning of the winter season.

No time to procrastinate!

Yes, we do ship out our great fishing, hunting and doggie gifts extremely fast and use Priority Mail so you get your cool Fishboy stuff fast but this time of year why push it? We have no control over the local postal worker who cracks under the strain of all those Christmas cards.

Besides if you order your fishing and hunting t-shirts early you get the best selection. This time of year we have a hard time keeping our most popular shirts in stock. Remember last year when you were disappointed to find "Quit Staring At My Bass" sold out? We've stocked up on our most popular shirts but there is no guarantee! We often get a lot of panicked rush of last minute orders and they can snatch up all the best shirts fast.

Shop early and don't be disappointed!

Here is an extra incentive - Get free shipping with this e-coupon! "lunker"

Enter it on check out and you'll receive free PRIORITY MAIL shipping. We typically ship out all orders at 2 PM so if you order early in the day your order will go out the same day and you'll see it in 2 - 3 business days.

Fishboy for great gifts for outdoorsmen and women! www.fishboy.com

Naked Fish - the DVD

Now here is one I can relate to, my 1st grader asked for a fish for Christmas and Dad is really getting into the whole hobby aspect after finding a great deal on a 46 gallon bow front aquarium at Walmart. That said, setting up the tank is going to be expensive with all the equipment need such as filters, heaters, decorations, food, supplies etc. Plus the maintainence. But since Dad works from home and he could use a little company when the little tyke is off at school. Besides my son's other pets are three hermit crabs and they are well shall we say kind of boring since they don't move around much during the day and they close up as soon as you walk in the room.

Anyway this DVD could put to use that honky giant flat screen tv you got for Christmas when you aren't watching "Naked Fishing With the Alluring Babes".


NAKED FISH

Studio
Columbia Tristar Home Entertainment

Technical Details
Screen: Enhanced Widescreen Letterbox
Sound: Dolby Digital w/ sub-woofer channel, Dolby Digital Stereo, Digital Theater Systems (akin to 5.1)
DVD Aspect Ratio: Pre-1954 Standard, Alternate Wide Screen

Full Synopsis

Have you always wanted an aquarium but aren't interested in the mess, expense, and high maintenance of having a fish tank? If your answer is yes, Naked Fish could be just the DVD for you. Naked Fish offers long-playing views, transferred to disc with Superbit technology, of five different aquarium scenes which allow you to enjoy the relaxation of watching tropical fish without the fuss. Two different soundtracks of appropriate audio accompaniment are included to add to the realistic effect. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide


Product Features
Five unique tanks include: Classic, predator, shark, living reef, nautilus Three music tracks: Soothing sounds from the water music of George Frideric Handel, playful tunes from the water music of George Frideric Handel, and a "natural aquarium" option Full and widescreen presentations ROM - screensavers and more

OTHER AQUARIUM DVDS

Aquaria: The Complete Collection - Disc 1 (1999)
Studio
D3

Technical Details
Screen: 4:3 Full Screen, Enhanced Widescreen Letterbox
Sound: Digital Theater Systems (akin to 5.1), 5 full-range channels. Includes 3 front speakers, 2 surround channels for rear speakers, & 1 low-frequency effects (LFE) channel.


Language
English

Full Synopsis

This collection of "virtual aquarium" videos gets a glossy presentation for its release on DVD. Aquaria: The Complete Aquarium Collection features two separate transfers -- a full-screen version at the aspect ratio of 1.33:1, and a letterboxed transfer at the aspect ratio of 1.85:1 (which has also been enhanced for anamorphic playback on 16 x 9 monitors). Viewers have a choice of playback in Dolby Digital 5.1 or DTS 5.1 audio and can select one of four soundtracks (a bubbling aquarium, ocean sounds, or one of two musical options). The DVDs also include a selection of five types of aquariums, information on the species of fish represented, and screen savers which can be downloaded to home computers with DVD-ROM drives. ~ Mark Deming,

Marine Aquarium the DVD (2003)

Studio
Serene Screen

Language
English

Full Synopsis

Marine Aquarium: The DVD offers the ultimate in virtual screen aquariums. Whether viewers want to enhance their home or office environment, this release will add a soothing atmosphere. Marine Aquarium collects 120 minutes of calming digital video footage of 21 exotic types of fish and includes animated bubbles with sound. ~ Dana Rowader, All Movie Guide


Beautiful Aquarium (2003)
Studio
Delta

Technical Details
Sound: Dolby Digital w/ sub-woofer channel
DVD Aspect Ratio: Pre-1954 Standard

Language
English

Full Synopsis

This program presents footage of exotic fish swimming in an undersea coral reef, set to relaxing music. When played on a home television this program is mean to simulate the appearance of a large fish tank. ~ Cammila Albertson, All Movie Guide

Naked Fishing with the Alluring Babes

Has anyone seen this movie? I don't know. It looks to me that fishing with "alluring babes" might be quite a distraction. When I go fishing I want to fish, when I'm not fishing, I tend to other primal needs. I'll have to see if I can get this at Blockbuster some one has to review this, its just too intrigueing. 30 minutes? Hmmm, I wonder.

Description for Naked Fishing With the Alluring Babes VHS
--What could be better than a boatload of beautiful women baring it all? All of the above, plus practical fishing tips for novice anglers!

Release Info:
--Color Film
--RunTime: 30 Min.
--Original Language: English

MPAA Rating:
--Unrated

Lookee At My Huge Fishee!

Fishboy customer sporting a stylish "Fishoglyph" hat and a huge catfish!

Exclusive! Spiny Lobster Only at Bass Pro Shops

Usually we don't promote other Fishboy retailers but Bass Pro Shops has an exclusive at the moment on our Spiny Lobster design at a nice price of $12.95 (yeah, they strike a hard bargin and buy tons at a time).

Bass Pro Shops also carries Fishboy's Catfish ID and Crappie ID at the low low price of $12.95.

For the full ID product line see us at www.fishboy.com

Fisherman's Thanksgiving Prayer

God grant that I may live to fish until my dying day
And when it comes to my last cast I then most humbly pray
That in his mercy I be judged as big enough to keep.

Amen.




CAST AND PRAY MUGS BY FISHBOY - LIMITED SUPPLY GET YOURS NOW!

Fish Kills Man

FISHERMAN Adnan Walid, 39, died after a swordfish leapt out of the water and stabbed him in the eye.


--HARIAN METRO
Mr Adnan (above left), a father of two, had been fishing with a friend in the sea off Pulau Langkawi on Saturday.

His wife, Madam Mariah Abdullah, 34, said that the two men went out in her husband's boat at about 8pm.

PIERCED BRAIN

She told the Malaysian papers: 'It all happened when Adnan was flashing his torchlight in the water.'

Suddenly, the friend heard Adnan screaming for help.

A swordfish had jumped out of the water and stabbed him in his right eye.

The sharp part of the fish's mouth was about 30cm long and was as thick as an adult's big toe.

It entered Mr Adnan's right eye, just missed the eyeball and then pierced part of his brain.

By the time the friend rushed over, Mr Adnan had already pulled the fish out, but part of the mouth broke off, and a piece remained lodged in his head.

Mr Adnan collapsed soon after and was rushed to Langkawi Hospital.

He was later transferred to the Alor Star Hospital where he died on Monday at about 4pm without regaining consciousness.

Mr Adnan's friend, who declined to be named told reporters: 'It was a freak accident.

'We've heard of people being injured by the fish, but I think this is the first time I've heard of someone being killed. It is unusual.'

TRIED TO STOP DAD

Madam Mariah said that their two children, Mohd Salleh, 14, and Bukhari, 12, had tried to stop their father from going fishing on Saturday.

She said: 'He was preparing to go out at 8pm when they clung to him and begged him to stay at home as the wind was too strong.

'It was the first time they acted like this, but I didn't think much of it.'

Great Fishing Gift Ideas - Shadow Boxes

These handsome shadow boxes are now available from Fishboy.com and they make great gifts for fishing fanatics. One features popular freshwater species in 3D behind glass so they don't get dusty. The other features antique fishing lures also behind glass. They look great on the wall side by side! Perfect for a den, living room, hallway etc.

More more details take a look at the gift offerings at Fishboy.com

Kiss Your Bass Goodbye

Just one of our lastest creations! Kiss Your Bass Goodbye is already a top seller among distinguished fishermen with a bent sense of humor and the people who love them! Just $17 for this great bass fishing t-shirt featuring silkscreened design and 100% cotton, pigment dyed t-shirt. The shirt color is a stately slate blue.

Nude Fishing - Watch Them Hooks!

Hmmm, I don't know how this picture got here. It must be another cheap ploy to attract attention to our site. Did it work? Let us know in the comments area below!

Application To Fish

Need permission from your spouse, girlfriend etc to fish? Just fill out this handy form and submit it to them for approval!

Fishing Permission Application

Never Argue

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in Islamorada. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap.

Although she isn't familiar with the area, the wife decides to take out the boat. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes an FWC Officer in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?" "Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious? "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?" "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the Officer. "That's true, but you do have all the equipment."

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.

Fishy Fishing Trip

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing in the Florida Keys with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week." "This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says, "Yes! Lot's of Bonefish, some Tarpon, and a few Permit. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas! like I asked you to do?"

The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."

Free Fishboy Catalog Download

Check out our latest catalog including 18 new t-shirt designs. Download the free pdf catalog and print it at home.

Click here to download the latest catalog right now!

Cool Fishing Hats

Awesome fishing caps can be had at Fishboy.com! We have 18 different styles! Yes you heard right, eighteen different fishing hats to choose from and they are all machine stitched - embroidered hats are made from top quality 100% cotton material.

Features include: soft heavy-duty adjustable leather strap with disappearing tail, solid antique brass closure, preformed bill, self fabric sweatband and sewn eyelets. One size fits most. Fishboy Hats are $17.

Lobster Wrestling!

Al Campbell's Fly Fishing Terms

Baetis: Something a catfisherman puts on his hookus. Here’s a Latin lesson for you. Add an 'is' or 'us' to the end of a word and you’ve got the Latin equivalent.

Callibaetis: A concoction I dreamed up by adding calamine lotion to my catfish baetis. It didn’t catch any fish, but it did a dandy job on poison ivy.

Hackle: Something that gets raised on my wife every time I tell her I need a new fly rod. This term is usually associated with “dog house” and “alimony.”

Free Drift: The mode my mind is in when my wife is discussing my need for that new fly rod. It’s also a common mental mode for any other unpleasant subject she wants to discuss with me.

Drag: A term I use to describe life without a new fly rod.

Dry Fly: That new fly you purchased before it hits the water.

Wet Fly: That same fly moments after it hits the water.

Fly Line: A story you’re going to hear about your buddy’s fishing trip to Montana. For more information on this subject, see “falsehood” and “bald faced lie.”

Fly Line Conditioner: The words you use to lead up to the story about your fishing trip to Montana. This is a very important phase of telling a fly line. If you omit it, no one will believe a word you say. They probably won’t believe you anyway, but we all have to try, don’t we?

Leader: The best liar in your group. This guy has great potential as a writer for fishing and hunting magazines.

Tippet: Something your buddy always does when you take him fishing in your canoe. Why do you think they invented river boats?

Backing: Something you hope your fishing buddies will give you when you’re telling one of your bigger fly lines.

Nail Knot: One of the many creative knots you can accomplish by allowing your back cast to get too low on a windy day. Some other knots in this category are ‘twig knots’, ‘bush knots’ and the very dangerous ‘rattlesnake noose knot.’

Blood knot: What you get on the back of your head when you execute a forward cast with a nail knot in your line.

Surgeon’s Knot: Otherwise known as stitches. A common treatment for a severe blood knot.

Strike Indicator: That annoying guy you took fishing that was always yelling, “You got a hit, set the hook.”

Waders: A piece of clothing you slip onto the lower half of your body that’s always two inches shorter that the water you’re going to wade. Other items in this category are sea anchors and concrete boots.

Wading Staff: The large group of people needed to haul you out of the water after you venture in over your waders. Some of the more affluent fly fishers keep a paid wading staff on hand at all times.

Royal Wulff: Something I’ve been known to do to a hamburger after a long day of fishing.

Stomach Pump: Some medical attention I had to get after eating at Taco Tim’s the last time I went fishing on the Big River.

Snake Guide: That shifty eyed guy you hired to show you where the fish are. They call him snake for a reason. Good thing your wallet had a chain on it.

Stripper Guide: Hey, we all have to make a living during the off season. Some people are better adapted to this line of work than others.

Reel Seat: The one item of comfort you’re looking for after a long day wading the river. Generally a lot more comfortable than the ant hill you sat on when you emptied the water out of your waders.

Float tube: That container of suntan lotion you just dropped in the river. It’s the only thing you can drop that won’t sink out of sight in an instant. Instead, it drifts away to be picked up by the game warden who’ll ticket you for littering. This usually results in the loss of your fishing privileges for a year or two. Now you know why fly fishermen usually allow themselves to get cooked redder than a lobster rather than risk float tubing.

Fly Vise: A common mis-spelling of a term used to describe our addiction to fly fishing. Related habits might include smoking, drinking and telling fly lines.

Spinner: Another name for the teller of fly lines. If I had gone any further, you could say I was a spinner of lines. Some of you are probably saying that anyway.

Dun: Something you are when you finish all you planned to accomplish. That’s exactly what I am at this moment, dun. ~ AC

Fishing Terms Explained

Catch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.

Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his life savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).

Line - Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.

Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.

Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.

Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming "that darn line" for once again losing the fish.

Fishing Humor: I have to Go Fishing

A guy returned from flyfishing one day and was approached by his wife: "Dear, the washing machine broke." The flyfisher: "Honey, call the repair man and have it fixed!"

The next day upon returning home from another outing: "Dear, the TV is broke." The flyfisher: "Honey, I'm not a repairman. I have to go fishing. Call the repairman and have them fixed!"

The third day: "Dear, the fridge doesn't work anymore." The flyfisher: "Honey, I told you I'm not a repairman but a flyfisherman. Call the repairman and have everything fixed!"

Finally, on the fourth day the flyfisher returns home to find his wife with a smile on her face. "Did the repairman come, honey?" "He sure did, dear. And he repaired everything just like you said." "And how much did he charge, honey?" "Nothing, dear. When I asked him for the bill he told me that I either had to bake him a big chocolate cake or go to bed with him." "Honey, what did you do?" "Dear, I'm not a baker!"

Funny Fishing T-shirts

Need a funny fishing t-shirt? Fishboy has got them! Funny fishing t-shirts is what Fishboy does in over 50 different silkscreened designs on top quality, pigment dyed t-shirts. When you've got to have an awesome, original, far-out funny fishing t-shirt for yourself or as a gift for your favorite fisherman, Fishboy.com is the place to go.

Take our famous Bassturd shirt for example. People tell us they nearly "peed my pants" at the first site of this Fishboy classic. Close behind is Dumbass, Basswipe, Fish Control My Brain and of course the extensive "Identification" series in Catfish, Shark, Trout, Walleye, Crappie, Sucker, Bass and other varieties. If you need a funny fishing t-shirt check us out!

Crappie T-shirts

Hopefully you were searching for crappie t-shirts as in crappie the panfish and not some freak trying to find the crappiest t-shirt in the world or something. We don't sell crap t-shirts only crappie t-shirts to people who know the difference. ;-)
------------


Common name: Black crappie

Scientific name: Pomoxis nigromaculatus (Pomoxis means "sharp opercle (cheek)"; nigromaculatus means "black spotted")

Distribution: The black crappie occurs in all three drainage basins in Wisconsin (Lake Michigan, Mississippi River, and Lake Superior). This glacial species is well distributed througout the state, except in the streams of the driftless area of southwestern Wisconsin.

Spawning: In Wisconsin, the black crappie usually spawns in May and June; however, during a colder season, spawning may be delayed until July. Favorable spawning temperatures range from 64 to 68º F. The male sweeps out a nest in sand or fine gravel and guards the nest and defends the young until they start to feed.

Angling: The black crappie is considered an excellent game fish when taken on light tackle. Extreme care must be taken in landing these fish because their mouths are very tender. Anglers specializing in catching black crappie know that to be successful the bait must be kept constantly moving. The best baits are small minnows, small maribou-covered jigs, plastic minnows, or small streamer flies cast along the outer edges of weed beds. The crappie lies in weed beds in deep water during the day and bite best in early morning or toward evening. In summer, with the abundance of small fish for feed, they are more difficult to catch. Small minnows are used as bait in winter.

How to Create a Gift Basket for a Fishing Enthusiast

You can easily create a custom gift basket for any fishing enthusiast. She will appreciate anything she can use on a fishing trip and will be able to store her tackle in the basket you've chosen just for her.


Choosing the Gifts and Basket

Steps:
1. Select a variety of fishing tackle, including lines, hooks, sinkers and lures.
2. Buy a humorous fishing-related T-shirt. (Fishboy.com has a lot of great ones!)

3. Consider a fisherman's vest.

4. Include a sweatproof sunscreen with a high SPF and a fisherman's hat.
5. Remember to buy a disposable camera so the fishing enthusiast can record the high points of her next fishing trip.

6. Consider a handheld game with a fishing theme that can be used at home during stormy days.

7. Pick a basket style. You can choose from those with one handle, with two side handles, or without handles. Make certain the basket is large enough to hold the fishing items you have selected.

8. Select a natural wicker basket for its neutral.
9. Use shredded paper filling to make the gifts fit snugly in the basket.
10. Select a humorous greeting card with a fish theme.


Packing the Basket

Steps:
1. Wrap each present with a colorful gift wrap.

2. Put a layer of shredded paper filling in the bottom of the basket.

3. Place the wrapped gifts vertically or horizontally in the basket, as space allows, pushing the filling between gifts to ensure a very snug fit. Cover some of the gifts completely with the filling to create mini surprises when the basket is unpacked.

4. Place the basket in the center of a large piece of clear or tinted cellophane gift wrap. You may need two pieces of the wrap to completely cover a large basket.

5. Bring all sides of the wrap to a few inches above the top of the basket. Secure the wrap by tying it with a long, colorful ribbon.

6. Tape your greeting card to the wrap.

You might want to consider using a creel (a wicker basket for holding fish) to hold all your items. Then the fisherman can enjoy & use the basket while fishing.

10 MORE COMMON FISHING TERMS EXPLAINED

Angler An obsessed individual who owns a house that is falling down due to neglect, a truck whose color can best be described as Rust-Oleum, and a pristine boat that he chamois' down methodically before and after each trip.

Knot (1) An insecure connection between your hook and fishing line. (2) A permanent tangle on your spinning reel which forces you to go out and buy a bigger, better, much more expensive rig.

Landing Net A net used to help drag a large wiggling fish, or an inebriated fishing buddy, on board.

Live Bait The biggest fish you'll handle all day.

Quiet Water Your surroundings after you stop cursing your bad luck and fall asleep at the reel.

Skunked fisherman One who returns to the boat ramp many, many hours after his buddies have gone home so that there are no witnesses to his catch or lack thereor.

Sinker (1) A weight attached to a lure to get it to the bottom. (2) The nickname of your boat.

Thumb A temporary hook holder.

Treble Hook Triples the odds of your catching a fish. Quadruples the odds of your getting the hook caught in your thumb (see above).

Trolling What you do after you've lost a $500 rod and reel set-up overboard.

Snagged!

Jet skiing and fishing really don't belong on the same planet.

Singing Fish: Boogie Bass, Big Mouth Billy Bass etc.

Dumb Ass Bass - Virtual Singing Bass

How Singing Fish Work by Jeff Tyson

Boogie Bass Hack -- a very cool article that shows you how to modify a singing fish -- you can record your own message/song and program your own movements!

Big Mouth Billy Hack in Linux

How To Make A Talking Fish Say What You Want

Christmas Gifts For Fishermen

Christmas Gifts for Fishermen Are Easy to Find

Are you still getting chit for that Billy Bass you bought him a few Christmases ago? Or is it more like you and the six other people who gave him the same singing fish.

Let's face it. You can't complain about the male gene that creates the urge to buy their significant others small appliances (i.e. useful stuff) instead of expensive jewelry, if you don't counter attack with some deeper understanding on your end of this gift giving business.

Basically gifts for fishermen fall into three categories. Things that will catch them more fish, things that they can show off and things that proclaim to the world how much they love to fish.

The first catagory is where the fisherman spends most of his own dough. Bait, new lures, new bass boats etc. This is where all of that money they get you to save by buying cheaper toliet paper goes. Its why you get those "I don't like them" looks from him when trying on new shoes. All of these little things add up to big things like yet another rod and reel.

As for gift giving this area can be a big risk. If you spend a lot of money and its the wrong thing make sure you save the receipts and be prepared for some real disappoint on the faces of the big kid, I mean husband. Gift certificates might work here but then that means a trip shopping which of course means not fishing and that is never any fun.

Category two is also very difficult because you never know what is cool in the minds of your husband's fishing buddies. You might get something that is totally passe by the time the next fishing season rolls around.

Category three, items which proclaim the fisherman's love for fishing for the world to see (t-shirts, hats, signs, paperweights, mouse pads, coffee mugs etc) are probably the safest way to go unless they are so impractical that its just junk - like those singing fish. Going with a gift for a fisherman in this category has several advantages 1. You usually don't end up spending too much money so the nest egg is secure to finance expensive fishing trips and outboard motors. 2. They are going to love it as long as it has something to do with the true love of their life - fishing. After you of course. 3. It comforts them. It makes them believe that you are totally behind their fishing crazed minds. You are one with them. You support their obsession. This might not be totally true of course but it at least says "Hun, I recognize that you are truely out of your mind over fishing but I am ok with it. I realize that nothing will stop this obsession so I might as well join in on the fun".

Happy Holidays!

Top Search Terms on Fishboy

Ever wonder what people are searching for when they come to Fishboy.com? The meaning of life? (That's simple its 42*)

Well not exactly. More likely they are searching for something about lobsters, sharks and the elusive Fishboy catalog (Psst! Our full catalog is right in front of your eyes - its an online catalog Folks!)

Plus a lot of seemingly anti-social types seem to be searching for shirts that express the notion that one must not ever talk during fishing. For some fishing is the way to get away from all that yaking which is increasing ever sense the cell phone was invented. Here at Fishboy we scratch our heads at this one since it appears to us at least that "Shut Up and Fish" items are everywhere right next to the "Bite Me" items. Sigh, maybe someday Fishboy we'll bow to the popularity of this notion but we try to be highly original and unique.

Anyway here is what people seem to be searching for:


Searches Query
31 lobster
21 shark
13 shutup and fish
10 catalog
10 clocks
9 big dead stinky fish
9 clock
9 moose
8 fish
8 gift box
8 tshirt
7 bumper stickers
7 customer service
6 big dead tshirt
6 charleston crazy on the coast
6 dumbass
6 fish metal boxes
6 fishing clock
6 free catalog
6 hats
6 scuba
5 bug lvr tee shirt
5 chocolote lab tshirt
5 contact
5 decal shut up fish


*In Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, 42 is the number from which all meaning ("the meaning of life, the universe, and everything") could be derived.
A BBC radio script based on Adams' book contains the following lines:


("Cave man" lays out following sentence in Scrabble stones: "What do you get if you multiply six by nine?")
Arthur: Six by nine? Forty-two? You know, I've always felt that there was something fundamentally wrong with the Universe.
(Faint and distant voice:) Base thirteen!
For the literal-minded and those unfamiliar with terms like "base thirteen," this is a number system in which the number 10 is equivalent to our more familiar decimal 13. A base-13 number 42, therefore, is the same as four 13s plus 2, or decimal 54. So "six by nine" (six times nine) or decimal 54 is, in base 13, 42. For the mystically inclined, 42 in base 13 is the same as 110110 in binary (base 2). This could mean almost anything, and many Adams fans have spent untold hours discovering all of the places where the number "42" pops up. For example, there are many mentions of the number in the Book of Revelation. Others have made a game of finding 42s, such as these:

The angle at which light reflects off of water to create a rainbow is 42 degrees.
Two physical constants in the universe are the speed of light and thediameter of a proton. It takes light 10 to the minus 42nd power seconds to cross the diameter of a proton.
The sum of the ordinal alphabetic positions of the initials (SPG) for Stan (P.) Gibilisco, an oft-published science and technology writer, is equal to 42 (S=19, P=16, G=7).
A barrel holds 42 gallons.
(It should be noted that all of these 42s are base 10, not base 13.)

Get this moose shirt for $8!

Limited supply! Closeout item!

Meet me at The Bearded Moose Lounge - Where everybody's a little horny!

100% cotton t-shirt, silkscreened design, pigment dyed color.

Shirt Color: Duckbeak Yellow

SNEAK PEEK: FISHBOY'S FALL LINE

Coming soon! A whole net full of new Fishboy designs are coming in the next few weeks!

Man. My butt hurts...

COMING SOON! Look for this great new t-shirt in Fishboy's Fall 2005 Collection!

Fishing makes me get up early and fishing makes me stay out late, but mostly fishing makes me sit and wait. Man. My butt hurts...

OW! That's Gotta Hurt

I bought my wife a mood ring so that I could tell when she was in a good mood for me to ask if I could go fishing.

When she is in a good mood, the ring is a pretty light green that matches the colour of her eyes.

When she's not, the ring leaves a little red mark right in the middle of my forehead!

Nemo Has Been Found!

Fishing Joke: Its My Eyes!

A guy rings his boss.

I can't come to work today.

The boss asks why?

The Guy says it's my eyes.

What's wrong with your eyes the boss asks?

I just can't see myself coming to work,

so I'm going fishing instead...

Gross Tongue Eating Bug Found

A gross creature which gobbles up a fish's tongue and then replaces it with its own body has been found in Britain for the first time.
The bug - which has the scientific name cymothoa exigua - was discovered inside the mouth of a red snapper bought from a London fishmonger.

The 3.5cm creature had grabbed onto the fish's tongue and slowly ate away at it until only a stub was left.

It then latched onto the stub and became the fish's "replacement tongue".

Excited

Scientists are very excited by the find.

Dr Jim Brock of the Horniman Museum in south London told Metro newspaper: "I have not seen this species in all my 13 years at the museum so it's a remarkable find."


What the bug looks like

The bugs are usually found off the coast of California, so it's possible the fish was imported to the UK.

Freaked out

But don't be too freaked out - scientists say the creature does not pose any threat to humans and only attaches itself to fish tongues.

Eat Fish, Stay Sane

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Eating fish at least once a week slows the toll aging takes on the brain, while obesity at midlife doubles the risk of dementia, a pair of studies concluded on Monday.

Omega-3 fatty acids contained in fish have been shown to boost brain functioning as well as cutting the risk of stroke, and eating fish regularly appears to protect the brain as people age, the six-year study of Chicago residents said.

"The rate of (mental) decline was reduced by 10 percent to 13 percent per year among persons who consumed one or more fish meals per week compared with those with less than weekly consumption," wrote Martha Clare Morris of Rush University Medical Center in Chicago.

"The rate reduction is the equivalent of being three to four years younger in age," she added in the report published online by the Archives of Neurology.

The protective effect from eating fish was evident even after researchers adjusted for consumption of fruits and vegetables.

Alzheimer's disease and other causes of dementia are growing problems around the world, particularly in developed countries with aging populations.

In another study published in the same journal, Swedish researchers from the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm concluded that obesity, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol levels at midlife each doubled the risk of dementia later in life.

Subjects who suffered from all three of the health problems at midlife multiplied their risk of developing dementia six times compared to people free of the risk factors, she said.

Nearly 1,500 subjects who have been part of a study that began in 1972 were reexamined. The 16 percent who were obese at midlife were at double the risk of dementia compared to the one-quarter of those with normal weight at midlife and the half who had been slightly overweight.

"Midlife obesity, high systolic blood pressure, and high total cholesterol were all significant risk factors for dementia, each of them increasing the risk around two times," study author Miia Kivipelto wrote.

Catfish Trys To Eat Basketball

CATFISH WITH A BIG "BALL" PROBLEM

FISH STORY FROM WICHITA EAGLE NEWSPAPER

A resident in the area saw a ball in a pond, bouncing around kind of strange. And when he went to investigate, he discovered that it was a catfish and it had obviously tried to swallow a child's basketball. Which became stuck in its mouth.

The fish was totally exhausted from trying to dive. The resident tried numerous times to get the ball out but was unsuccessful. He finally cut the ball in order to deflate it, and then released the catfish.

Fishboy's Decals - To Die For

Fishboy's large die-cut stickers are a great way to add personality to your vechicle. These large decals are weather proof and come in a variety of great fishing themes from "Fish Control My Brain" bumperstickers and die cut decals to "Fishoglyph", "Fishboy", "Grin Fish" and "HellBent". Cool visuals to express your passion for fishing.

Gold Fish In Blender - Art?

A museum director has been cleared of animal cruelty after a court ruled a display with goldfish in blenders that visitors could turn on was not cruel.

Peter Meyer, director of the Trapholt Art Museum in Kolding, Denmark, drew international notoriety in February 2000 after the exhibit was dubbed cruelty to animals.

The display's 10 blenders were plugged in and visitors were invited, if they wanted, to blend the fish. One person did and two goldfish died.

Animal rights activists complained and the blenders were unplugged, but the exhibit continued.

Danish police fined Meyer the equivalent of £200 for animal cruelty but when he refused to pay, the case went to court.

Judge Preben Bagger ruled Meyer didn't have to pay the fine because the fish were killed instantly and humanely.

During the two-day trial, experts including a zoologist and a representative of the blender manufacturer, Moulinex, said the fish probably died within a second after the blender started.

The installation was the work of Chilean-born Danish artist Marco Evaristti.

The temporary exhibit also included a nude picture of the artist with blackened eyes and a bazooka missile surrounded by tubes of lipstick.

Man 'Shoots' 7 Foot Gar !

DUDE, HERE'S MY GAR

Area man takes a bow (and arrow) to catch huge alligator gar.

One day last month, Tommy Frank found himself just where he likes to be -- about to do battle with a seven-foot alligator gar weighing more than 200 pounds, which he held, literally, on the end of a string.

The scene was a familiar one for the Arlington resident, a dedicated bow fisherman who stalks monster alligator gar with as much stealth and fortitude as most hunters use for less dangerous trophies such as white-tailed deer and elk. And the setting was one of Frank's favorites -- the Trinity River south of Dallas, where monster gar prowl the often muddy waters day and night.

The 7-footer was one of five big gar Frank and his longtime buddy Johnny Pantoja shot with their bows and arrows during a midday "hunt" in a section of the Trinity where Frank has taken numerous monster gar in the past. The other gar they shot that day measured 6-3, 6-1, 5-9 and 5-8.

"The water was cloudy, probably one- to two-foot visibility, and I saw the fish coming up headfirst, probably 15 yards away at the most," Frank said. "When he got to the surface, I knew he was a large fish, and I hit him almost in the head. He took off pretty quick and ran about 10 yards and then just stopped. You don't horse a fish that size around. We have learned to finesse it and start feeding the line out. That way we can move left or right or around the boat. You even can let him tow the boat some, so you just pull the line in and out, and every now and then he will jerk the boat. We finally got him to the top and then towed him to the bank."

Frank has been hunting alligator gar this way for about 26 years. The Trinity is one of his favorite places, but he also has had exceptional success on the Colorado River, especially where it empties into the coast at Matagorda. Although many bow fishing enthusiasts shoot carp and gar of any size, Frank said he only goes after the big ones, estimating he has taken more than 100 gar measuring six feet and longer over the years.

"To me, you are just slaughtering them if you shoot the small ones," Frank said. "We see a lot of gar that we don't shoot because they aren't big enough. If it is not 7-up, I don't want it. Sure, we'll make some mistakes [and shoot gar less than seven feet long], but I have learned to judge their length pretty well."

Frank uses basic bow fishing gear -- a Jennings compound bow he has owned for 23 years and a standard bow reel spooled with 200-pound test line and bolted to the bow. His boat is a 14-foot Alumicraft. He does most of his hunting during the day but has a special spotlight rig for occasional night bow fishing.

Frank said his goal is to get an alligator gar that weighs at least 300 pounds.

"If I can get one that big, I figure I will have taken one that is within a few pounds of the world record alligator gar taken on a trotline, which is about 302 pounds," he said.

Although alligator gar grow much larger than needle-nosed gar, Frank said he has shot numerous exceptionally large needlenoses, including a possible world record.

"I shot one 6-foot-6 needlenose that weighed around 100 pounds," he said. "I just turned it back, and, later, when I looked at the records book, I realized it is very likely I had the world record and just didn't know it."

One of Frank's most memorable experiences took place on the Trinity River below the Lake Livingston dam, where he shot an alligator gar then turned the boat sideways because the water was deep and he knew that any gar shot in deep water tend to make a very quick and deep retreat.

"After I turned the boat sideways, the reel became unscrewed from my bow and was jerked [by the fish] into the water," Frank said. "Fortunately, the reel landed like a cup and stayed on top. I dived in and grabbed the reel and then swam back to the boat. I was underwater for only about 10 seconds, and when I got through [pulling in the gar,] I had never hyperventilated so much in my life. I was really sucking in the air. The gar was only a 6 1/2-footer, but it was a fast 6 1/2-footer and gave me one of my most memorable experiences."

Looking back over the many years he has hunted other game with a bow, nothing matches bow fishing, Frank said.

"I have hunted deer and lots of other animals with my bow, but I have never found anything that equals bow fishing for big gar," he said.

Submitted by Bubs

Crusin' in Bar Harbor

MDI's summer season might be over with all of the kids back in school but the leaf peeping season is just beginning and Octorber is peak cruise ship time in Bar Harbor. These floating hotels certainly dwarf our lobster boats.

Fishboy Closeouts - Great T-Shirt Deals!

Where can you get a top quality Fishboy t-shirt for only $8.95? Only at our CLOSEOUT section on Fishboy.com

We have always have a ton of new designs in the works and we have to make room in the storeroom sooooo.... we have got to get rid of the odd sizes and leftovers. These are top quality shirts only but they are the only ones left in discontinued lines. Or they are misprints (sometimes we get shirts sent to us with a name drop like "Alaska" printed on them) or simply overstock items. In any case you get a great shirt at a heavily discounted price.

So give us a hand at clearing out old stock so that we can bring you even more great Fishboy designs and help yourself to the savings.

Send Me Your Free Fishing Catalog

The promise of computers and Internet was not only to make life easier and communication better but to reduce the amount of paper used in the world. And with that of course reduce the amount of trees and forests that get cut down for the pulp mills.

Here in downeast Maine we are well aware of the effects of forestry and the precious resource that our forests represent. We hunt, fish and walk these forests. We breath deeply the fresh air with our noses and drink in with our eyes the scenic vistas the forests provide. How long will it be before ordering online becomes more common place and the piles of catalogs that clog our mailboxes is reduced? Its really just a matter of customers expressing a preference for online ordering.

Here at Fishboy we offer a full line, online catalog. The online catalog features all available products as well as real time inventory control. Whatever fishing, hunting, dog, bear, beer, animal etc hat, t-shirt or gift item we offer we put up in our online store. If its in stock the online inventory system will tell you. So save a tree and browse our online catalog!

(Hey, if you still need to see something printed to make sure we are real or to send to Santa Claus, sign up for our mailing list and we'll send you a brochure).

Customer Comments

"Fishboy is an amazing experience; the website, the clothing, you name it. If it is Fishboy, then it has to be quality merchandise. I just wish that everyone else knew that I wanted Fishboy shirts for Christmas." - Dawn C.

Fine Dining at Cafe 2 - Southwest Harbor

Fishboy Co-Flounders - Paul and Ed plus family enjoyed a rare company dinner recently at Cafe 2, the nightime, upscale version of the most excellent Eat-A-Pita. We are happy to report a very fine dinning experience with great food and a cosy, casual atmosphere plus they love kids! Plenty of pasta and seafood dishes plus lamb, beef, chicken and pork dishes. Suggesions: Leave room for desert as there are many great choices and try a Dark and Storm drink (ginger beer and dark rum).

Eat-A-Pita American/Casual, Vegetarian, $7 to $17, Southwest Harbor

Fresh vegetables are the focus of the menu at this downtown eatery. Offering four kinds of pita bread, a hefty list of crisp veggies, and other fillings, this restaurant is a good bet for lunch. Try a whole-wheat pita stuffed with chickpeas, tomatoes, leaf lettuce, cucumbers, shredded carrots, alfalfa sprouts, green onions, bell peppers, and marinated chicken drizzled with honey-mustard dressing. At night, the restaurant turns into Café 2, which features salmon, lamb, and other heartier fare. MC, V. Closed mid-Oct.-May. Address: 326 Main St., Southwest Harbor, ME, USAPhone: 207/244-4344

Martha Stewart News

Martha backs MDI marathon
By Craig Crosby
BAR HARBOR — The Mount Desert Island Marathon has already been recognized by national and international publications as one of the most beautiful courses in the world.

Now domestic-diva and part-time Seal Harbor resident Martha Stewart plans to lend her own good housekeeping seal of approval and time to the race.
Marathon founder and director Gary Allen announced this week that Ms. Stewart will be the honorary race starter and crown the champions at the finish line at the Sunday, Oct. 16 race.

“I’m absolutely thrilled,” Mr. Allen said. “Whatever Martha Stewart is involved in, even if it’s in a small way, gets a lot of attention. She brings a reputation for doing things well and doing things right.”

But Ms. Stewart plans to give the marathon more than cursory attention. She will address the runners after they have assembled at the starting line at 8 a.m. on Main Street in Bar Harbor. Ms. Stewart will then fire the signal to start the race.
Roughly two hours and 30 minutes later, Ms. Stewart will greet the runners at the finish line on Main Street in Southwest Harbor and crown the men’s and women’s champion.
“We encourage spectators and fans to join us at the starting line in downtown Bar Harbor and the finish line in Southwest Harbor to welcome her and to cheer on our runners,” Mr. Allen said.
Ms. Stewart also plans to have a crew on hand to film a segment for her television show.
And, Ms. Stewart’s magazine, Body + Soul, has signed on as a race sponsor.

“Running as a sport has made a real difference in the health and well-being of thousands and thousands of people,” Mr. Allen said. “We are proud to announce that Body + Soul magazine, one of Martha’s newest ventures, has become a welcomed and well-fitting sponsor of our event.”
Ms. Stewart’s endorsement is just the latest in a litany of praise the marathon has garnered since it was first run in 2002. “Eco-Marathon” has called the race — run at the height of the foliage season with a route that includes Somes Sound and Cooksey Drive — one of the most scenic in the world. In the marathon guide it published this year, Rainmaker Publishing, Inc. named the marathon as one of the top 50 in the nation. The race also has been highlighted and received favorable reviews in a number of publications geared toward marathon runners.

But Ms. Stewart’s involvement could bring the race out of the exclusive world of hard-core marathoners and into the general public. That could mean more runners and more corporate sponsors to build an even better race, Mr. Allen said.

“I think what it means for the marathon is more recognition,” he said. “The implications can’t be overstated.”

Though Mr. Allen had been exchanging e-mails with Ms. Stewart’s publicists, plans have really developed during the past three weeks.
“I think the defining moment came when I bumped into Martha on Main Street in Northeast Harbor,” Mr. Allen said. “I mentioned the marathon and she told me to email her the details. It’s been a flurry ever since.”
Mr. Allen was hoping Ms. Stewart would fire the starting signal, or maybe just wave to the runners. Mr. Allen is thrilled Ms. Stewart has decided to devote substantial attention to the race.

“It’s more than I could ever wish for,” he said. “I’ve met her several times and I think she’s a really great person. If she were just involved in a small way I’d be thrilled. The fact that she’s involved in a deeper way is just awesome.”
Best known for teaching her audience the best way to hang curtains or present a Thanksgiving feast, Ms. Stewart may seem an unlikely candidate to support a marathon, but that is not how Mr. Allen sees it.

“I believe Ms. Stewart may be the perfect candidate to represent what marathon running is all about,” Mr. Allen said. “The peaks and valleys of running 26.2 miles is never easy, but with good planning and hard work, the ability to survive and to excel is within reach of all who attempt to cover this grueling distance.”

Weird Animal Facts

Try sticking your tongue out as far as it will go. Do you think you have long tongue? Well, compare your tongue with a giraffe's. A giraffe's tongue can sometimes be over a foot and half long!

There are some very strange laws in America. For example, in Milwaukee, it is against the law to take your pet elephant for a walk unless your elephant is on a lead; and in Illinois, bees are forbidden to fly over the town, though it is doubtful whether anyone has managed to stop them breaking the law!

Horses often go to sleep standing up as well as lying down.

Down in those jungle swamps a survivor from the Stone Age lurks. Experts say that crocodile is probably the closest living relative of Tyrannosaurus Rex, which makes it nearly 195,000,000 years old!

There was once a snake in London Zoo, which was fitted with a glass eye.

Did you know that baby hippos are born under-water!

Did you know that there is a sort of crab, which can climb trees?It is called the coconut crab, because it eats coconuts, which it finds by climbing the palm trees where the nuts grow.

Cockle shells come in various sizes, but have you ever wondered how they grow? As it gets older the cockle just adds another layer to its outer shell. To work out their age you can count the rings on them just like a tree.

Have you ever wondered how postmen deal with angry dogs?In America, animals experts once gave them a tip: if they took off their hats and put them over their faces, dogs would confused long enough to allow them to escape. If, of course, they could see where they were going!

Have you heard about the strange craze in 1890?More than 18,000 mummified cats were sold in Liverpool, England. Everyone wanted to own one. There were so many that the auctioneer used one instead of a hammer. Twenty tones of them were shipped from Egypt where they were discovered in a 2000 year old tomb.

News Flash: Fishboy goes to the dogs…

Introducing Doggie Style!
A collection of canine inspired t-shirts from the highly evolved design team at Fishboy

Fishboy’s new “Doggie Style” line of t-shirts features our beloved, yet crazed dog enjoying life to the fullest as only a gonzo dog could. Bird Dog checks out the beach volleyball chicks while Surf Dog hangs paw on the ocean waves. Rasta Dog be jamming and smokin’ the bone. Meanwhile Water Dog checks out the underwater scene and Doggie Paddle shows us that old dogs can indeed learn new tricks. Back at the bar Salty Dog mixes up a blender full of margaritas for the gang while Guard Dog keeps a watchful eye on all the action.

All Fishboy t-shirts are silkscreened one color at a time. No iron-ons! The t-shirts are hefty 100% cotton tees, pigment-dyed and silkscreened in the good ol' U.S.A for us by Lakeshirts.

See the whole collection at http://www.fishboy.com/

dog t-shirt, dog t-shirts, dog breed shirts, dog breed shirt, dog shirts, dog shirt designs

Fishing Soundtrack

Pop these tunes into your MP3 player next time your in the mood to do some fishing...

1. "Gone Fishin'" Louis Armstrong Priceless Jazz
2. The Fishin' Hole Andy Griffith American Originals
3. "Salmon In The Sea" Ian & Sylvia Long Long Time
4. "Axel F" Crazy Frog Crazy Frog Presents Crazy Hits
5. "Saturday Night Fish Fry" B.B. King Let The Good Times Roll: The Music Of Louis J...
6. "Boat Drinks" Jimmy Buffett Volcano
7. "Fish Ain't Bitin'" Corey Harris Fish Ain't Bitin'
8. "Waiting For Fish" Susan Conger Along The River
9. "Fly Fly Fishing Poles" Spymob Sitting Around Keeping Score
10. "Too Many Fish In The Sea" The Marvelettes More Songs From Big Chill Soundtrack
11. "Fishin' In A Hurricane" Keith Norris Deuce
12. "I'm Gonna Go Fishin'" Peggy Lee The Best Of Peggy Lee: The Capitol Years
13. "Fishing A Stream I Once Fished As A Kid" Bill Morrissey North
14. "Rainbow Trout" Gordon Lightfoot Cold On The Shoulder
15. "Beer, Bait And Ammo" Kevin Fowler Beer, Bait And Ammo
16. "Fishin' Blues" Lovin' Spoonful Do You Believe In Magic
17. "Betty's Got A Bass Boat" Pam Tillis Country Legends
18. "If I Had A Boat" Lyle Lovett Lyle Lovett Live In Texas
19. "Mosquito Bite" Original Formula Radio-Active
20. "Catfish Blues" John Lee Hooker Jack O' Diamonds: 1949 Recordings

Fishboy Beer Steins On Sale!

Psst! Get some cool Fishboy beer steins before they are gone for good! Three great designs: Flounder Flat Ale, Deep Sea Light Lager and Trout Stout.

Take an additional 25% of our Fishboy beer steins with this e-coupon. Just put the code in at checkout.
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COUPON CODE: "frankenstein"

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HOT HOT HOT!!!

No doubt Bassturd and Dumbass are Fishboy's all time best selling fishing t-shirts and have been for several years now but here is an up and coming red hot bestseller: Quit Staring At My Bass.

This shirt might even over take Bassturd this year if we can keep them in stock. Last Christmas season we kept running out of them so I don't think the sales numbers truely describe the mass appeal this shirt has among our fishing fanatic fans.

Fishboy's retailers have been slower to add this great selling shirt to their line up (retailers tend to stick to what sold before and are less likely to try new designs) so you're best bet in finding this shirt is at our online store: www.fishboy.com

Now Available: Fishing Tackle Gift Bags!

Buying a Fishboy t-shirt or hat as a gift? Make it extra special with one of our cool new gift bags - only $4.95!

Doggie Paddle

We just keep rolling out the new doggie style line of shirts! Here is a great one for kayaks and boaters!

Fishboy Spotted In Alaska

You never know where Fishboy stuff might show up. Here we have some fine Fishboy items in Anchorage, Alaska.

Seal Cove News: Developer faces violation notice

Developer faces violation notice
By Mark Good

TREMONT — The Maine Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) is recommending that the town issue a notice of violation to developer Pritam Singh for tree cutting done on property his family owns on Seal Cove.
The DEP contends that Mr. Singh violated the town’s zoning ordinance when clearing a 23-acre site on the Cape Road, formerly owned by the heirs of Joan Fisher.

Millard Billings, Tremont’s town manager and code enforcement officer, confirmed Tuesday that he plans to issue a notice of violation but is unsure when that will take place.

Mr. Singh intends to build a 305-foot-long pier and float project off the property. The pier became controversial in the town, with abutting landowners and other residents opposing the project during the planning board process. After hosting a series of impassioned public hearings, the board approved the pier June 21.

During planning board review of the pier, Mr. Singh said he plans to build no more than six houses on the property, a main house and several smaller homes for family members.

According to DEP shoreland zoning coordinator Tracey Thibault, her department was asked by the town to assist in determining if a violation occurred during the land-clearing process.

“The state helps the town administer the shoreland zoning ordinance,” she explained.

Ms. Thibault said aerial photographs of the property and information from global positioning satellites were used to help determine the extent of the cutting. In addition, the DEP asked CES, Inc., the engineering firm used by Mr. Singh for the project, to supply calculations regarding the amount of vegetation removed from the site, she said.

In a letter to Mr. Billings, Ms. Thibault writes that the CES report shows violations occurred within the 75-foot buffer strip required along the shoreline and also outside the strip.

CES states that 7,137 square feet of forest canopy was removed from the buffer strip, she writes. The zoning ordinance limits any clearing in this area to 250 square feet “as measured from the outer limits of the tree crown.”

The “buffer area did not contain a well distributed stand of trees and other vegetation prior to additional removal” and therefore is a violation of the ordinance, she writes.

Outside the buffer strip, CES determined there is 268,287 square feet in the shoreland zone, allowing 67,072 square feet to be cleared. However, 104,580 square feet had been opened prior to Mr. Singh purchasing the property. This, Ms. Thibault assumed, was grandfathered. CES stated another 17,172 square feet had been cleared, resulting in a second violation of the ordinance, Ms. Thibault writes.

Ms. Thibault said that CES representatives agreed to remedial measures during a site visit she attended with them and Mr. Billings. As a result, 48 trees would be planted in the buffer strip and 58 trees planted outside the strip. Saplings may be no less than three feet tall for coniferous species and no less than six feet tall for deciduous species. The planting must be a mix of three native species with not one species making up more than half the number of trees planted.

In addition, Ms. Thibault said, Mr. Singh could be fined or face other sanctions as ordered by a court.

Looking for a Crappie t-shirt?

Fishboy's popular Fish Identification series just got lot crappier with the newest design "Crappie"!

There are now 15 identification designs to collect!

Doggie Style

Fishboy is going to the dogs with their new line up of doggie style t-shirts. Check out the new "Salty Dog", "Guard Dog", "Water Dog" with a whole lot more to come!

The Mackerel Man

Yesterday I got to see the Legendary Mackerel Man of Southwest Harbor. Well at least he is legendary among the lobster men at the town/Beals docks. He is someone you wouldn't hear about on a tour of the island or even notice as you scarf down a lobster on Beal's lobster shack -- even if you did gaze over at the comings and goings at the town dock. No this is only a character you meet if you work down on the dock for a living because only then do you notice someone like the Mackerel Man.

No one knows his real name only that he shows up each summer in a van and sets up camp down by the town dock. By day he fishes for mackerel which he sells to the local lobster men for bait, if they take pity on him they might hire him on for the day to take the place of a stern man who has gone missing after a Sunday bender.

If not he spends his day between scowling at the lobster men trying to maneuver their boats to the dock among his fishing lines and scanning the trash for returnable bottles and cans.

They say he comes from way up north in the county and his visit to the island is not all that long. Its a mystery what spurns his migration back north, is because the mackerel have left the harbor, the cans have filled the van or is it simply that the Mackerel Man has had his fill of people?

Capn Nemo's Bass Harbor

"Dad, tomorrow night we are coming here for dinner". That's what my son said after our maiden voyage to the new restaurant in Bass Harbor, Nemos. Quite an endorsement from a six year old.

After gossiping for weeks about the stacks of lumber and assorted other materials that started to appear on the site of the former Nautilus restaurant on Flat Iron Road in Bass Harbor and the proposed lighthouse the owners want to erect, a group of us locals decided to put up or shut up and give the place a try.

And I am happy to report that we went. We had a great time and had some great food and at a decent price. Despite some mixed up orders and our kids fascination with the Billy Bass at the front entrance, we managed to sample most of the limited menu which consists mainly of fried seafood and BBQ. The pacific sockeye salmon got the thumbs up from several in our group in both deep fried (!!) and grilled versions. The fried haddock was great and the ribs and chicken combo was devoured. The kids all enjoyed the "chicken fries" which were very thin strips of chicken fried. Probably the only complaint was the size of the scallop basket although the small size was ordered. Well that and a few of the Real Ale beers came with about two inches of foam at the top of the pints.

All and all Nemos is an extremely casual place to enjoy some good seafood and the company of friends without any pretensions. If you can roll with the limited menu and the Mom and Pops style of service, its a very fun place that should be given a try.

LeeAnn's Crispy Cabbage Salad

LeeAnn brought this fantastic cabbage salad over to dinner a few nights ago. It has some unusual ingredients but the result is fantastic and it was a bit hit with everyone.

1 Red Cabbage sliced into bit size pieces
6 Scallons - sliced
1 Cup Oil
1/4 Cup Sugar
6 Tablespoons Vineagar (LeeAnn actually used 8 tablespoons of Balsamic)

and now the weird ingredient: 2 packages of Romen noodles (cream of chicken or which ever flavor you like). Break up the dry noodles and add the seasoning package to the other ingredients.

Toss the seasonings and veggies together then add 1 cup of toasted sunflower seeds and one cup of toasted almond slices. (toast them in a 350 degree oven for 10 mins).

Try it you'll like it!

Bar Harbor Times - Police Beat

July 28, 2005

A can of Pringles chips was swiped at the Irving Mainway on July 20.

Sizzlin' Summer Shipping! Only $1

This summer save a bundle on great Fishboy t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs and more - every order gets $1 Priority Shipping regardless of the order size! So stock up now for summer, back to school and the holiday gift giving!

Buy Fishboy At Bass Pro Shops!

If you are a Fishboy fan and have a Bass Pro Shops in the neighborhood you're in luck! Bass Pro Shops has been carrying most of Fishboy's "ID" line of funny fishing and hunting t-shirts for the past few months and they have been flying out the door. So much so that Bass Pro Shops recently place a huge reorder for more of the quality fishing t-shirts created by Fishboy. So check out the whole line up at a Bass Pro Shops near you!

Follow this link to find a Bass Pro Shop near you

57 T-Bird with Blue Hawaiian Plates

We had this friend in college named Lloyd who used to try to order a drink called a "57 Chevy with Blue Hawaiian Plates" every time we went out. Of course no bartender or waitress had ever heard of it. It was probably some special house drink of some local bar back home in Florida. Like did he even know what was in it? No,of course not. Besides if you have to give the recipe to the bartender it kind of spoils the experience anyway. Lloyd was always doing crazy things. He was a bit like Kramer on Seinfeld. If it wasn't watching the rats in the dumpster 13 floors below his dorm room with binoculars he was hatching up some crazy idea or another. Next time I'm down at the Dry Dock in Southwest Harbor maybe I'll ask Jeanine for a "7 Chevy with Blue Hawaiian Plates" as a tribute to goofy Lloyd. I wonder what every happened to him...

Whoopie Pies Vs. Oreos

It just occurred to me that an Oreo cookie is nothing more than a dehydrated whoopie pie.

Brown Paper Jake

A sheriff walks into a saloon, and shouts for everyone's
attention. "Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?", he asks.

"What's he look like?", asks one shoddy looking cowboy.

"Well", replies the Sheriff. "He wears a brown paper hat,
a brown paper waistcoat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper
boots, brown paper pants, and a brown paper jacket."

"So what's he wanted for?", asks the same cowboy.

"Rustlin'...", replies the Sheriff.

Big Hat, No cattle

A lady goes into a bar and sees a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He has the biggest feet she's ever seen. The woman asks the cowboy if it's true what they say about men with big feet.

The cowboy says, "Sure is, why don't you come back to my place and let me prove it?"

The woman figures why not, and spends the night with him. The next day, she hands the cowboy a $100 bill. Blushing, he says, "I'm flattered, nobody has ever paid me for my prowess before."

To this the woman says, "Well don't be, take this money and go buy some boots that fit!"


Photo: Edward Fielding, Ennis Rodeo, 2005

The Story of Chico

A cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh
Ellen Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to
the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The cowboy groaned but didn't budge.

The usher became more impatient: "Sir, I don't care if you're drunk- if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the
aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of
them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success.

Finally they summoned the police. The local sheriff surveyed the situation briefly
then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"

"Chico," the cowboy moaned.

"Where ya from, Chico?" asked the sheriff.

With pain in his voice Chico replied,. . . . . . "The balcony."


Photo: Edward Fielding, Chico Hot Springs, Pray MT 2005

Three cowboys...

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on a lonesome Texas prarie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.

The first one says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands."

The second cowboy can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen-foot rattlesnake slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy remained silent, silently stirring the coals with his hands.

Photo: Edward Fielding, Ennis Rodeo 2005

A cowboy's last wish...

A cowboy is riding across the plains of the old west, when he is captured by Indians. The tribe puts him on trial for crimes against the Indian Nation, and he is found guilty.

"You have been sentenced to death," said the Chief, "but, as is our custom, you have three wishes to make as your last requests."

The cowboy thought for a minute and said, "Well, for my first wish, I'll need my horse."

"Give him his horse," said the Chief.

The cowboy whispered something into the horse's ear, and the horse took off like a shot across the prairie. Twenty minutes later, the horse returned with a beautiful blonde woman on its back. The cowboy looked at this, shrugged his shoulders, and helped the young lady off the horse. He then took her into the woods and had his way with her.

"Second wish," said the Chief.

"I'll need my horse again," said the cowboy.

"Give him his horse," said the Chief.

Once again, the cowboy whispered into the horse's ear, and once again the horse rode off over the prairie. Thirty minutes later, the horse returned with a beautiful brunette on its back.

The cowboy looked up and shrugged, helped the young lady off the horse, and went into the woods, same reason as before.

"This is your last wish," said the Chief, "make it a good one."

"I'll need my horse again."

"Give him his horse," said the Chief.

The cowboy grabbed each side of the horse's head, and put his face right up to the horse's.

"I said POSSE!"


Photo: Edward Fielding, 2005