Art gallery lures crowd with fishing tackle theme

“Call me Ishmael” is the first line in Herman Melville’s classic tale of the sea, “Moby Dick.” It is also the name of North Dakota State University Assistant Professor of Art Donovan Widmer’s exhibit on display in the Dickinson State University Art Gallery in the lower level of Klinefelter Hall March 6-31.

Widmer transforms fishing tackle into jewel-encrusted artwork, forcing the viewer to think about the potential danger of attraction and addiction. Like fish drawn to shiny lures, humans also are drawn to things that initially bring pleasure but may ultimately bring pain.

“The denotation of jewelry as a type of lure is the result of materiality. The most blatant example is found in the assemblage of fishing lures and hooks. The refined beauty of the pedestrian object, coupled with the value of the materials forces the viewer…to choose between the irrational response to an addiction and the rational logic of the fear of pain,” said Widmer of his work.

Acadia National Park - Brought to You By Halliburton

Dick Cheney (lover of all things natural as long as he can take a shot at it) has his crony Paul Hoffman, deputy assistant secretary of the Federal Department of Interior for Fish, Wildlife and Parks rewriting park management policies. The goal? Raise recreational and commercial park uses to equal the value with preservation of the park's natural and cultural resources.

Instead of preserving our national parks heritage for future generations, these new policies aim at making a quick buck on our public lands. What's next in Cheney's plans? Buffalo hunting season in Yellowstone?

Of course these cockroaches are not alone. Representative Richard Pombo (R-CA) is riding shotgun with his own ideas of "REQUIRING" parks to sell commerical naming rights to trails and buildings, auctioning Gettysburg battle sites and selling old mining properties on park land. Pombo (is that a real name, sounds like a stage name for a clown) also supports oil drilling on national park lands in Alaska.

Isn't it about time we told these clowns that our natural treasures are not for sale to the highest bidder?

Concern citizens should visit the NPCA web site at: http://www.npca.com/

Devo 2.0 - PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!

Despite the official release date of March 14th, you can buy this now from the TV offer. I should know, we have Aunt Claudia who likes to shop on TV and sends us stuff like this whether we like it or not...

It was 1980. I was in ninth grade and I had my first exposure to punks. There were these two older kids who dressed up all in black, had weird haircuts, put safety pins in their ears and were always pulling stunts like eating live goldfish. They rode skateboards with margarine containers glued on to the bottom (I guess to hold their drugs). They wore ripped Sex Pistols t-shirts and wrote DEVO on their skateboards. And then "Whip It" became a huge radio hit and their world was shattered. Everyone in school like that song and even when the Army band came to play at a school assembly, the band covered it. Of course the two punk kids went crazy against the song. They felt betrayed that something they liked was finding acceptance with the general public. If these two are still alive they'll probably fall over when they hear about Devo 2.0 - some hired kids to pose as the band and rerecord Devo's hits.

"Are we not men?
We are devo!
Are we not men?
D-e-v-o
God made man
But he used the monkey to do it
Apes in the plan
We’re all here to prove it
I can walk like an ape
Talk like an ape
I can do what a monkey can do
God made man
But a monkey supplied the glue
We must repeat
O.k. let’s go!"

If my memory serves me correctly, I recall the original Devo had a theory behind the band. They believed in concept of de-evolution. As in mankind had actually reached the end of his evolution and was now evolving backwards. Not a bad theory actually especially if you spend any time in sports bars or buy any of these new CDs made for kids. If the original Devo of the 70s and 80s hadn't been involved with this project they probably would have considered this effort from Disney to be a de-evolution of their music. A giant step backwards. Well, I always thought of Devo as being very tongue in cheek so they are more likely just laughing all the way to the bank. Hey, if I was an aging musician facing dwindling royality checks and Disney knocked on the door with this idea I think I'd jump on it a flash. Especially when you see all the money that is flowing into the Kidz Bop coffers these days. Well, at least Disney invited the original artists to participate in the destruction of their songs unlike the Kidz Bop recording factory which just licenses the songs.

Honey, I've Shrunk Devo!

So what exactly is this Devo 2.0? Its a slick repackaging of Devo's hits into a kid friendly format. Just like the uber-successful yet utterly distestable Kidz Bop, Devo 2.0 consists of early teen kids singing the twenty year old hit songs. The only twist here is that they are trying to create a new band as if one of Devo's theories came true and the band did a Tom Hanks Big move and shrunk down to kid size. Of course its a Sucrose Sweet Disney confection all the way. Smily kids in cute matching uniforms bouncing around with those cute Devo flower pot hats on their heads. Sanitized Devo for the Neo-1950s conservatism parenting generation of media raised kidbots.

Of course, like Kidz Bops this entire package is sold non stop via remant advertising space so you can't escape its mind numbing power. De-evolution indeed!

DEVO 2.0 CD TRACK LISTING

1. That’s Good
2. Peek A Boo
3. Whip It
4. Boy U Want
5. Uncontrollable Urge
6. Cyclops
7. The Winner
8. Big Mess
9. Jerkin Back N Forth
10. Through Being Cool

11. Freedom of Choice
12. Beautiful World

"Eliminate the ninnies and the twits
Going to bang some heads
Going to beat some butts
Time to show those evil spuds what’s what
Chase down mister hinky dink
So no trace can be found
Put the tape on erase
Rearrange a face
We always liked picasso anyway
Mash ’em" - Through Being Cool

Overall I think this act bothers me less than Kidz Bops because first off the band Disney choose was kind of cartoonish to begin with. Devo's lyrics were not as offensive as much of what the Kidz Bops factory chooses . Most of Devos lyrics were kinda nonsensical (think Talking Heads Art School education) to begin with and I always thought "Whip It" was a positive message about whipping drug addiction.

Disney also gets points for involving the band with the overall project. Sure Disney has its hands all over this project and its merchandising but at least the band has some input into how their life's work gets repackaged and sold.

But the idea of turning these 80s bands into the next generations Micky Mouse Club or Monkees rings false. Are we really going to see this Devo 2.0 on tour? Are these kids hired to play Devo 2.0 really going to start believing that they are something original? This really proves that the music industry has reached its evolutionary peak! And it certainly doesn't give today's youth much credit for finding their own musical voice.

MORE TO COME...

Expect more CDs of this ilk in the future. Disney Sound a new division of Walt Disney Records is planning a series of CDs to bring original bands of iconic groups (i.e. stuff your parents remember) and redo them with kids. Rumor has it that the Go-Gos is next. Now what is wrong with the original Go-Gos music? Wasn't that kid friendly enough already? Probably is that Disney isn't getting a cut of it.

All of this business of repackaging parents music to their offspring just reminds me of what spurs great music in the past. It was a rejection of the status quo. Its call REBELLION cause when parents try to make all of the choices for the next generation instead of letting them figure things out for themselves. Think about it. Why do things like the Care Bears come back? Because the toy companys are selling to the parents. Same thing here. Disney is packaging this music in a parent friendly way. Look out adults, when a generation raised on this crud starts to rebell its going to make the 60s look like a tea party. After all the Mickey Mouse Club was just one spark that lighted a rock and roll explosion in the form of Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrick, The Rolling Stones, Led Zepplin etc.

Why I hate this...

1. It cheapens the original music
2. Its such an obvious money grab
3. The original songs are so much better
4. The musicians are just hired guns who have no emotional investment in the songs
5. Music is at written in a certain time in the writer's life and at a certain time in history, removing that element takes away from the impact of the music

Some things Devo fans might like about this:
The CD does features two brand new Devo tracks "Cyclops" and "The Winner" and the DVD has animated and live-action videos for each track directed by Devo bassist Jerry Casale.

ORIGINAL DEVO:
Mark Mothersbaugh (vocals, keyboards, guitar), Gerald V. Casale (vocals, bass, keyboards), Bob Mothersbaugh (guitar, vocals), and Bob Casale (guitar, keyboards, vocals).

CLONE DEVO: Kane (drums), Nicole (vocals), Michael (bass), Nathan (guitar), Jackie (keys). No last names? Are they ashamed to be part of this or does Disney think its easier to sell these kids with simple first name? Maybe its part of the de-evolution.

Value

This new Devo package costs nearly $20. Mostly because they include a DVD of videos. The DVD appears to be made the same day of the recordings. It appears that they hired the kids for perhaps a day or two and get all the recording and video taping done. Maximize profits! At least that's how it appears to me. This way they can sell this thing for $20 and parents think its such a deal. In addition to the videos you get all kinds of moronic behind the scenes interviews with members of the band talking about how into Devo they are despite not even being born at the time Devo first came around!

Is it just me or has the Disney image for providing quality childrens media really gone downhill over the last 10 years or so? The company seems more interested in the bottom line then quality.

From Deadspin.com

The “Super Bowl of Fishing” has put another day in the books, cutting the field down to 25 for tomorow’s finale. For those of you who joined the Deadspin Bass Fishing Fantasy League, know that Luke Clausen is still in the lead with 44 total pounds of fishies. Terry Scroggins had the biggest haul of the day, though, with 28 pounds and six ounces of fishies.

Jimmy Johnson is remarkably in 15th place after winning last week’s Daytona 500, making him the greatest cross-sport superstar since Bo Jackson. Alright, I know it isn’t the same guy, but it’s not like it isn’t possible. He wouldn’t be the first guy to ever fish and drive in the same day. Anyway, I’ve got a few questions about this thing.

1) What happens to the fish after they’re caught, and the guy takes the picture holding them up? Stuffed and mounted? Fileted, fried and given to the homeless?
2) Could any of these guys make more money by going to work for Long John Silvers or Mrs. Paul?
3) How much skill is involved here? I know there’s some knowledge involved in picking the lure, the location, etc. But isn’t the guy who catches the heaviest fish just the luckiest? Is it somehow harder to catch the fish with a weight problem?
4) Why does that one guy yell at the fish? Does he think he’s cool?
5) What would stop a guy from catching a fish and stuffing some little weights in its mouth?
6) If you mistakenly reel in an old boot, does that count?

Fishin' Addiction

There's a popular country song about a fisherman who's ready to go out the door one morning when his frustrated wife gives him the ultimatum: It's either her or the fish.

And the chorus goes:
"Well, I'm gonna miss her when I get home,
But right now I'm on this lakeshore, sittin' in the sun.
I'm sure it'll hit me when I walk though that door tonight,
That I'm gonna miss her, oh, lookie there, I gotta bite."
The song is meant as a joke, but when I recite the lyrics to some of the anglers competing in this weekend's Bassmaster Classic in Kissimmee, they don't always laugh.
Sometimes, it makes them want to cry.
"I'm going through the Big D(ivorce) right now because of fishing," says Rick Morris, a 14-year pro who is in fifth place at the Classic. "Too much stress on the family. Bass fishing has caused many divorces and many bankruptcies."
These are the topics you won't see this weekend on ESPN, which bought the Bass Anglers Sportsman Society five years ago and is devoting 16 hours' worth of weekend coverage to the Classic. What you'll mostly see on TV are stories about the behemoth bass and the monster payday awaiting one fortunate fisherman. But delve down into the dark water beneath the bright lights, fast boats and big fish, and you'll find an undercurrent of broken homes and busted bank accounts. Many of these elite fishermen say they, too, futilely are flopping around like those hooked bass in the bottom of their boats.
"A lot of great anglers have already bailed out," Morris says. "I predict by the end of the year, a third of the field will be gone. But it won't matter; there's always some rich kid ready to take our place."
There's no question ESPN's takeover of BASS has made the sport bigger in almost every way. Prestige and prize money have increased, and the sport is more visible than ever. Unfortunately, visibility doesn't always pay the bills. As the sport has ballooned, so, too, have the expenses. Many anglers will tell you that only about a dozen of them make a decent living while the other 90 are struggling to get by.
"More than half the guys out here this weekend are going broke," claims Gene Ellison, executive director of the Professional Anglers Association.
If ever there were any doubt about bass fishing's growth, Ellison is it. His organization, for lack of a better word, is a fledgling labor union fighting to get bass fishermen a decent and steady wage.
They have some legitimate points. If ESPN is selling these guys as the "elite" athletes in their sport, then isn't it time the network start treating them like it? In what other professional sport does much of the prize money come from the entry fee of the participants? Most networks pay the athletes and leagues a fee to televise them, but ESPN actually makes the athletes pay it the fees. Brilliant.
Here's how it works: There are 11 "regular-season" tournaments on BASS's elite circuit, and the anglers have to pay a $5,000 entry fee to enter each one. That's $55,000 per year for each of the 100 "elite" anglers, which comes out to $5.5 million BASS/ESPN puts into the tournament kitty.
Besides the $55,000 anglers spend in entry fees, it cost another $50,000 per year in travel expenses. That means it takes a bare minimum of $100,000 a year to compete. Last year, only 15 of the top 100 anglers made more than $100,000. Although many of the fishermen have sponsors who pay a portion of their expenses, many times it's not nearly enough.
"It's a tough road if you're trying to get by on your own money," BASS General Manager Don Rucks admits. "You must have sponsorship dollars. The guys who want to work for sponsorship dollars can make it. If you don't have the desire to go get sponsors, you probably won't make it."
Of course, none of this is anything new. Pro fishermen have been going broke for years. Rick Clunn, one of the sport's veteran superstars, had his house repossessed early in his career. Randy Howell, another popular angler, maxed out five credit cards and was $30,000 in debt before he finally got over the hump.
"Me and my wife (Robin) spent many a night eating bologna sandwiches and sleeping in the back of a pickup," Howell says.
But they made it through.
Somehow.

"We both had the passion for the sport and for each other," Robin Howell says, "but I've seen a lot of fishing couples who didn't make it."

"I'm sure it'll hit me when I walk though that door tonight,

``That I'm gonna miss her, oh, lookie there, I gotta bite."

Rick Morris, the fishing man who's about to lose his woman, shakes his head and laughs instead of crying.
"Fishing is a disease," he says. "Once you got it, you can't get rid of it."

Trout Fishing in America

In April 1994 Peter Eastman Jr. changed his name to Trout Fishing In America. The 17-year-old from Santa Barbara figured it would be cool to name himself after a book he liked. Rumor has it he goes by "Trout".

The Stupid Sign

THE STUPID SIGN

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Hogging Catfish

Origins: "Noodling" (also known as "hogging") is indeed a real pastime pursued by some sportsman, a form of fishing in which the quarry (usually catfish) are caught not with rod and reel or with nets, but by hand. Enthusiasts plunge into waterways, pulling up fish directly from the water, scooping them up from along river banks, or hauling them out of hollow logs. According to a December 2004 Associated Press article, "So secretive are handfishers that they have formed a club called Noodlers Anonymous. A University of Missouri-Columbia professor who got the group's cooperation in surveying its members found that most are men, average age about 40, living in rural areas."

Although handfishing is perfectly legal in some states, others have passed or retained laws against it, due to the dangers of noodlers' accidentally pulling up something harmful (like such as disgruntled snakes or snapping turtles) and because the hobby can threaten aquatic populations if handfishers remove too many sexually mature fish from their underwater nests. Nonetheless, in 2005 Missouri agreed to allow handfishing on an experimental basis, joining 11 other states in which handfishing is now lawful.

MERMAID FOUND AT MARINA BEACH AFTER TSUNAMI ?

The Feejee Mermaid gets new life!

Below are the pictures of a mermaid found at marina beach (CHENNAI) last Saturday. The body is preserved in the Egmore museum under tight Security. (Note: Mermaid is called as KADAL KANNI in Tamil which is an imaginary creature described in stories, with the upper body of a woman and the tail of a fish).

Creatures identified as "merfolk" (half-human, half-fish creatures who live in the sea, both male "mermen" and female "mermaids") have been a staple of folklore and mythology for many centuries. Although the popular modern image of merfolk is almost exclusively limited to depictions of human-sized, attractive females with human upper torsos and fish-like tails (as exemplified by Ariel, the heroine of Disney's popular 1989 animated film adaptation of "The Little Mermaid," an 1836 children's story by Hans Christian Andersen), that image has not always been the standard.

Depictions of mermaids as gruesome, dimunitive creatures, and the use of parts of other animals (primarily monkeys and fish) to create exemplars of such creatures, are both very, very old, as demonstrated by a supposed mummified mermaid which was exhibited in Japan several centuries ago and is thought to be up to 1,400 years old.

More recently (but still a considerable time ago) phony mermaid-like creatures crafted from various body parts and bones of fish and other animals, usually joined to dessicated monkey heads or skulls, were a common feature of 19th-century dime museums, carnivals, traveling circuses and their sideshows. Although many such fabricated mermaids date from that era, the most famous example was the "Feejee Mermaid" (also known as the "Fiji Mermaid" or "FeJee "Mermaid"), a grotesque creature allegedly "taken [by Japanese fishermen] among the Fejee Islands, and preserved in China" before being purchased by one Dr. J. Griffin, acting an agent of the Lyceum of Natural History in London, in 1842:

The mysterious Dr. Griffin was in fact a fictitious character played by Levi Lyman, an associate of the famous American showman and huckster P. T. Barnum, who exhibited the "found" creature throughout the U.S. and in his New York-based American Museum for a couple of decades before it was lost when the museum was destroyed by a fire in 1865. The "mermaid" was actually pieced together using papier-mâché, fish parts, the body of an infant orangutan, and a monkey head.

Although times have changed considerably since the days of Barnum, human nature has not. We continue to be fascinated by the same tales and the same forgeries, crafted in the same time-honored fashion.

Grin Fish - Now in SAFETY ORANGE!

Fishboy's popular "Grin Fish" mascot is available on hats, die cut stickers and several colors of t-shirts including our latest bright orange color! Handy if you are visiting D.C. or any other undisclosed locations.

Dick Cheney Shoots From The Hip

"Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird." —Jon Stewart

"Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney." —David Letterman

"Cheney's defense is that he was aiming at a quail when he shot the guy. Which means that Cheney now has the worst aim of anyone in the White House since Bill Clinton." —Jay Leno

"You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.'" —Craig Ferguson

"But all kidding aside, and in fairness to Dick Cheney, every five years he has to shed innocent blood or he violates his deal with the devil." —Jimmy Kimmel

"The Vice President is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now, according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78- year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face." —"Daily Show" correspondent Rob Corddry

Letterman's Top Ten Dick Cheney Excuses
10. Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm
9. Wanted to get the Iraq mess of the front page
8. Not enough Jim Beam
7. Trying to stop the spread of bird flu
6. I love to shoot people
5. Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter
4. I thought the guy was trying to go 'gay cowboy' on me
3. Excuse? I hit him didn't I?
2. Until Democrats approve Medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly
1. Made bet with Gretzgy's wife

Dick Cheney Jokes

"According to the Washington Post, Vice President Dick Cheney is limping today because he injured his foot. Cheney said 'If you think my foot looks bad, you should see the old lady I was kicking.'" --Conan O'Brien

"The former chef of the White House has written a tell-all book. For example, he says that Dick Cheney, Vice President, his favorite dish is a dish called Chicken Gitmo. It's chicken bound and gagged on a bed of rice." --David Letterman

"According to the latest poll, 66% of Americans believe Dick Cheney has been given too much power by President Bush, and the other 34% think President Bush has been given too much power by Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

"A Filipino spy broke into Dick Cheney's office this week, and that takes a lot because Dick Cheney's office is the back of a speeding ambulance." --Bill Maher

"Vice President Dick Cheney will have elective surgery or, as his doctors call it, a pre-autopsy." --Jay Leno

"A White House spokesman announced today that Vice President Dick Cheney's recovery is exceeding his doctor's expectations. You know what that means? He's still alive." --Jay Leno

"President Bush sent Vice President Dick Cheney to New Orleans. Is that what they need down there? Another person requiring emergency medical help?" --Jay Leno

"Although the waters have receded from New Orleans, it's still a huge, huge problem and will be for months to come. You see the fresh water is contaminated with oil and gas. Actually, from Dick Cheney's perspective, the oil and gas is contaminated with fresh water." -Jay Leno

"There's a rumor Dick Cheney may run for president in 2008. If he wins, that would make him the first three-term president since Franklin Roosevelt." --Jay Leno

"We finally have a scandal in this election: Lesbogate. Bob Schieffer asked a question about is homosexuality a choice, and Kerry mention Cheney's daughter. The Cheneys are now furious at him. They say they are very proud of her daughter. They are so proud, she should never, ever be mentioned in public." –Bill Maher

"Dick Cheney wouldn't even confirm that she's gay. She just says that she touches her roommate in an undisclosed location." –Bill Maher

"Dick Cheney feels responsible for his daughter being a lesbian because growing up, she heard him say 'go f**k yourself' so many times, she finally tried it." –Bill Maher

"The most amazing part of the debate was when Dick Cheney told John Edwards in his Darth Vader voice, 'John I am your father.'" --Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney said that if John Kerry wins, there will be another attack. Then Cheney said, if Bush wins, I'll call it off." —Conan O'Brien

"The Bush campaign unveiled its new slogan. The new slogan is 'We've Turned A Corner And We're Not Turning Back.' This replaces their old slogan 'Do What Dick Cheney Says And Nobody Gets Hurt.'" —Conan O'Brien

"I don't know if you've heard the rumors — George Bush may be dropping Dick Cheney. George Bush says he's going to give Cheney four more years. The bad news — the doctor is only giving him two" —Craig Kilborn

"Cheney's temper got the best of him last week when he told Vermont Senator Pat Leahy to 'go F yourself' on the Senate floor. Wow that's so out of character. He seems like such a peach. ... Afterwards President Bush would not comment on Cheney's outburst adding, 'You think I want that psycho coming after me.' ... Dick Cheney does have a history of swearing, but usually he's clutching his chest and falling down." —Craig Kilborn

"This was nice, President Bush wished the Iraqis God's grace on their road to democracy. And then Vice President Cheney told them to go F-themselves." —Craig Kilborn

"Dick Cheney has announced that he has agreed to be Bush's running mate in 2004. Cheney says wants four more years as vice president, but I get the feeling Cheney wants four more years at anything. He said the only thing that could keep him from running is another double bacon cheeseburger." —Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney agreed to be President Bush's running mate once again in 2004. He made the announcement while riding in Ambulance One. In fact, he's got a new campaign slogan: No chest pain, no gain. ... He said he wanted four more years but his doctor is only giving him two." —Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?" —David Letterman

"Big news coming out of Washington, Dick Cheney will be running again for vice president. He says he is very healthy and that he has a doctor watching him 24 hours a day. This is a big improvement, it used to be a coroner." —David Letterman

"As Cheney told CNN, he has been 100 percent heart attack free since ascending to the vice presidency. He added, 'In fact, rather than giving me stress, being vice president has actually fueled my blackened soul, allowing me to gorge vampire-like on the bloody nectar of unlimited power.' I'm sorry that should have read 'I never felt better.'" —Jon Stewart, on Dick Cheney's insistence that he is the picture of health

"Vice President Dick Cheney has given another speech linking Saddam Hussein with the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Didn't President Bush say Saddam Hussein has nothing to do with the terrorist attacks? Here's my question, what if it turns out that Dick Cheney is the dumb one?" —Jay Leno

"It looks like they don't like us on TV, but you have to watch some of the other stories. I saw a story on an Iraqi/Kurd family who had so much appreciation for what we did in 1991 that they named their kid Dick Cheney. I'm not kidding. They have a little 11-year-old boy named Dick Cheney who is smart, brave, and gets along very well with his retarded brother Dan Quayle." —Bill Maher

"No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney." —David Letterman

"The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.'" —Conan O'Brien

"Vice President Cheney continues his whirlwind 11-nation middle eastern tour designed to bring America's anti-terror message to the region. That message: Help us fight terror or ...Is that oil?" —Jon Stewart

"The Security and Exchanges Commission is going to be investigating Vice President Dick Cheney. They'll begin that investigation as soon as Congress finishes investigating the Security and Exchanges Commission." —David Letterman

"The White House is sending Vice President Dick Cheney to the Middle East this month. You get the feeling that President Bush's opinion of Cheney has changed since the Enron thing broke? You know a few weeks ago, all they would say about Cheney is that he was in a safe, undisclosed location. He's hidden away. As soon as Enron popped up, they sent him to the most dangerous place in the world." —Jay Leno

"Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge has unveiled a new color-coded system to warn the public about different states of danger. Red is the highest state of alert, and it means that Dick Cheney is about to eat a mozzarella stick." —Conan O'Brien

"There are certain elements of the Bond lifestyle I have yet to experience, Jay, but I'm hopeful." —Dick Cheney, joking on the Tonight Show about being described in the New York Times as having a "James Bond-like aura"

"Dick Cheney finally responded today to demands that he reveal the details of the Enron meetings. This is what he said. He met with unnamed people, from unspecified companies, for an indeterminate amount of time at an undisclosed location. Thank God he cleared that up. I'm ready to move on." —Jay Leno

"Today at the White House the president pardoned the turkey. This is done every year. The turkey will live out the rest of its life at a petting zoo in Virginia. By coincidence that's the same place that Dick Cheney is at." —Jay Leno

"Vice President Dick Cheney is currently out in South Dakota on a three-day hunting trip. What better place for a man who has had four heart attacks than to be carrying a big gun and a backpack through the snow looking for red meat." —Jay Leno

"Everybody is talking about finding bin Laden. How about finding Dick Cheney? Where did he go? What have we got caves over here now, too? Where did he go? I think his Secret Service code name is 'Waldo." —Jay Leno

"Plans are being discussed as to who will replace Dick Cheney if he has to resign for health reasons. It's not easy for President Bush, he can't just name a replacement. He would first have to be confirmed by the oil, gas and power companies" —Jay Leno

"At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming Dick Cheney had a huge steak and battered onion rings for dinner. Afterwards he met with 100 donors, not campaign donors, heart donors." —Jay Leno

"President Bush spoke briefly to reporters before playing a round of golf in Crawford, Texas earlier today. ... This raises the question: Shouldn't the guy who is really running the country and who has had like 20 heart attacks be taking the vacation?" —Craig Kilborn

"President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away from Washington. Or at least that's what Dick Cheney told him." —Jay Leno

"According to doctors, George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever recorded by someone in the White House. Well, second lowest. Dick Cheney got his down to zero a couple of times." —Jay Leno

"President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a couple of strokes." —Jay Leno

"Vice President Cheney is also on vacation. He's in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. What better place for a guy who has had 4 heart attacks than a place with thin air, rugged hiking and all-beef dinners? Why don't they get some snow for him to shovel while he's out there, too?" —Jay Leno

"Plans are being made to replace Dick Cheney if and when it ever becomes necessary. They have to plan for this kind of stuff, you know, Cheney had what, a stent, put in his artery to keep it open, had a defibrillator with batteries implanted in his chest. I think they've already started replacing him, piece by piece." —Jay Leno

"Here's your tax dollars at work. We are supposed to be conserving energy. The navy is now being asked to pay the electric bill for Vice President Dick Cheney's house in Washington, the Naval Observatory. They are asking us, the taxpayers, to pay the bill. You now how much it is? It is $186,000 a year! How many times are they shocking him back to life? There are two people that live in the house! What, are he and Bush electrocuting guys in the basement now?" —Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney, I wouldn't give this guy's troubles to a monkey on a rock. He gets his electric bill. He doesn't live in the White House. He lives next door in the junior White House. He gets his electric bill and it is $186,000. I am telling you he should have gotten the solar-powered pacemaker. You would have a big electric bill if you had to use those electric paddles eight times a day. On top of all that Cheney has laryngitis. He can't talk. Of course, that's from yelling all day: 'Quick, my heart pills, quick!'" —David Letterman

"Republicans want to know why the Navy won't pay for it. Democrats want to know why Cheney won't pay for it. And Californians want to know how come his electric bill is so low?" —Jay Leno

"Yesterday Vice President Dick Cheney came down with laryngitis so his wife had to deliver a speech for him. After the speech, Cheney's wife had to spend the rest of the day telling President Bush what to do." —Conan O'Brien

"I'm told it's already an energy efficient device." —Dick Cheney, joking about his possible new pacemaker

"The latest mini-scandal to hit Washington, it seems the other night the Bush administration held a big party at Dick Cheney's vice presidential mansion for people who had given over $100,000 to the Republican party. He originally wanted to hold the party at the White House, but the donors that gave $100,000 to Cheney said no, no, for the kind of money we're spending, we want to meet the top guy, the man in charge." —Jay Leno

"In an interview with CNN this week, Dick Cheney said he may need more heart surgery. Cheney says his doctors have advised him to cut out all red meat, avoid stress and drop the extra 175 pounds (Bush picture on screen) that have been weighing him down." —Tina Fey, on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"Dick Cheney, our vice president, he was on a program the other night talking about his health. And, you know, he's had half a dozen heart attacks and he's always going back in for, you know, tune-up work and that kind of thing. And he said now that he may in the future have to have another procedure. And I was thinking I, you know, I miss the old White House. I miss Clinton. You remember the procedures he was getting?" —David Letterman

"While speaking to conservationists this week, Dick Cheney made it clear that he plans to deal with the rising gas prices by drilling in our federal wildlife refuge in Alaska. Cheney tried to sway his opponents saying trust me, there's enough oil up there to last us the rest of my natural life." —Tina Fey, on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"George W. celebrated his 100 days in office yesterday . So George invited Congress to a luncheon and only a third of them showed up. Seems, kind of rude, doesn't it? But to be fair — who wants to watch Dick Cheney have his soup intravenously?" —David Letterman

"On Monday, President Bush will reach his 100th day in office. It's a big milestone for him, surpassed all expectations. In fact, so has Dick Cheney. Cheney was only supposed to make it to day 73." —Jay Leno

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

Flying Karamazov Brothers

We braved the Blizzard of Feb 2006 to see the Flying Karamazov Brothers new show LIFE, A Guide for the Perplexed. It was excellent and I'm glad we made the two and half hour white knuckler drive. How often do you get so see a man juggle a boiled lobster, a vintage oak toliet seat (two piece) and a half frozen milk jug of water with baby oil poured on it?

At one point in each performance the Bros ask for objects from the audience and then the audience picks the items for "The Champ" to juggle. I thought the jug with baby oil poured on it was a bit too much from some manic audience member. Felt a bit cruel but the Bros went with it anyway and the champ did manage to juggle the items for a bit before the toliet seat crashed to the floor and split in two and the Champ accidently stepped on the lobster. Only in Maine would someone bring a boilded lobster to a juggling show and only in Maine would the audience NOT get upset by its use on stage. Bugs be bugs. -- Ed

Got a fat worm?

Rave Review of Fishboy's New Fish GrpZ fishing tool!

New review from Hunting and Fishing Gear Review
http://www.hunting-fishing-gear.com/review-display/1913.html

Fishboy
Fish Grpz multi-tool fishing pliers
Fishing Misc Equip

Manufacturer: Fishboy
Model: Fish Grpz multi-tool fishing pliers
Category: Fishing Misc Equip

Purchase: Purchased from Fishboy for $22.50

Likes: Fishboy's Fish GrpZ has a shape unlike any other on the market - its rubber grip handles resemble two fish when closed. When opened Fish GrpZ's is a comfortable and useful set of fishing pliers as well as a jack of all trades with its knife, screwdriver and other tools. In all there are 17 functions in this stainless steel pocket tackle box. The plier end features bent tips for reaching deep inside a fishes mouth for lure retrieval and an assortment of cutters and grips to handle just about any situation.

Dislikes: Nothing.

Quality: The Fish GrpZ is solid stainless steel construction with comfortable rubber grip and a special locking mechanism to keep all the tools safe.

Summary: Bottom line for less than $25 this is one sharp looking multi-tool.

Rating: 5

Free Fishing Postcard

Moose Surfing!

Here in Maine we surf our way!

Fishboy and Customer Service

As the entire customer service department at Fishboy Art and Design I'd like to share some unique insight into the fishy world of Fishboy and share some of the comments we've received about our products and service.

First things first, what is Fishboy?

Fishboy is a company that markets sportswear based on the designs of artist Paul Ocepek. It sells its designs all over the country through a network of retailers who carry the Fishboy line through Lakeshirts and Fishboy sells direct to its customers via its web site. Fishboy has been around for about eight years and has grown its offerings to nearly 100 products including t-shirts, hats, decals and gift items.

How do I describe Fishboy? Well, its sort of like Big Dogs only for fish Like Big Dog they have funny graphic tees and other sportswear that appeals to fishermen and hunters. They also have a selection of cool fish related products like coffee mugs, fish shaped fishing pliers, fish shaped wine openers etc.

Fishboy has about 70 different t-shirt designs and the selection rotates as new designs replace the old ones. Some of the most popular designs include "dumbass", "fish control my brain" and the identification line which covers everything from sharks to turkey to white tail deer to sucker fish.

You might have seen Fishboy stuff while on vacation in Florida, Maine and Hawaii but no where else can you find the same selection of Fishboy products then the Fishboy web site. In the market for a gift for your fishing or hunting friend? Fishboy is the place to go.

So what feedback do we get about the Fishboy experience? I'd say its overwelmingly positive. Yahoo+ gives us their top ranking for overall customer satisfaction. People seem to delight in discovering our brand of funny fishing and hunting clothing. Once in a while we screw up an order or run out of something but the customer satisfaction department (me) makes sure we turn it around into a positive experience. Exceed expections is the goal.

Here is what some of our most recent (last five customers who left feedback) customer's have been saying:

"Best store I have been to on internet in a long long time! They have wonderful merchandise, I have already been back once, will be back again!"

"FISHBOY is a wonderful company. i have ordered products (mostly silkscreened t-shirts) from them around 6 times. i have always received shipment promptly and in excellent condition. customer service emails have been answered quickly, too. their products are top-notch, creative and unique. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!"

"An extremely delightful product. My item was loved by the person who received it as a gift. A definite hit! Put in more of your heavy cards with orders.. mine was fought after by four people :-)"

"The t-shirts arrived quickly and the people they went to loved them. They were going out of the country to Labrador and Newfoundland, and the men that wore them were offered twice and three times their cost for the shirts."

"Wow, wow, wow!!! The artwork is superb, and the quality of the materials are great as well. For anyone with fishermen (or women) who have a sense of humor will most definitely appreciate Fishboy! There are also great items featuring other outdoors sports, and also some fun kids items. The items arrived quickly, and the customer service was great. I had a question about another item and received an email response the same day! Thank you! I know Ill be back!"

Shipping

We ship out about 2 pm everyday. Any order that comes in before that time is shipped out the same day. We ship via U.S.P.S Priority Mail which has proven to be very reliable and very fast. We often surprise our customers with the quickness of delivery even though we are shipping from an Island off the coast of Maine. Donna at the post office is a big help.

We charge a flat fee of $4.95 for shipping so on big orders we end up picking up the rest of the postage. A lot of people would love to see us offer free postage (who wouldn't) but this keeps us from filling a lot of small orders on which we would make no money.

Fishboy can be found on the web at: www.fishboy.com

+To date we have received 589 customer ratings via Yahoo. 470 gave us excellent, 96 good, 17 ok, 4 bad and 2 awful.

Rate Fishboy On Epinions

If you've had a positive experience with Fishboy why not tell the world? You can write a review of Fishboy.com and post it on Epinions. Thank you!
http://www.epinions.com/pr-Online_Stores_Services-FISHBOY

Coyote Love

Its Coyote mating season here on Mount Desert Island. How does one know? Well not by seeing them just being waken up in the middle of the night by some really scary howling. Last night I stumbled down the hall to check on my six year old. I thought he was having a nightmare and letting out some kind of moan. It wasn't until the way back to bed that I heard more oooooohhhss coming from outside. When you live in the middle of nowhere those coyotos can send a shiver up your spine!

About Coyotes:

A coyote reminds one of a small German shepherd dog. Coyotes weigh between 20 and 45 pounds, have a bushy tail with a black tip, are yellowish gray with a whitish throat and belly, their ears are prominent, and their tail is held below their back while running.

90% of a coyote’s diet is small mammals, but they will also eat birds, snakes, insects, fish, fruit and vegetables. Coyotes are opportunistic hunters, feeding primarily on what is most available: squirrels, voles, mice, rabbits, injured or sick deer. They rarely kill prey larger than themselves, but will scavenge on a fresh carcass. Coyotes are capable of taking a small dog (less than 15 pounds) or a cat, but they rarely take supervised pets.

Coyotes live in prairies, brushy areas, and wooded edges; however, not in heavily wooded areas. They prefer suburban areas with broken forests. Coyotes like to travel along trails/paths or ridges and waterways. They often deposit feces or scent mark with urine along the way. They are mostly active at night, but may be seen during the day, especially in the summer when young are more active. They sometimes hunt in family units, but are more often alone or in male / female pairs.

Their barks and yips usually increase in power and pitch and ending in a long, flat howl. Young have a higher pitch than adults do. Howls increase during mating season, but decrease when they have young. Coyotes can also howl at sirens or whistles. Howls carry 2 –3 miles. Young are born in April and May in dens found along drainage ditches, fence rows, under abandoned buildings. Young are on their own at 6-9 months.

Live Lobster Crane Game

There are certainly many ways to enjoy Maine lobster! Now there is the claw game version of lobster selection...

According to the manufacturer:

The Love Maine Lobster Claw is an extremely fun game that people of all ages love to play. For two dollars per play, a customer has 30 exciting seconds to catch a live Maine Lobster. This is when all the hoot and hollerin begins. Winning customers automatically set off a light house attached to the top that attracts even more players.

Fast Fact:

In Episode 9, Season 3 of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, the team renovated the home of Doug Goodale, a veteran lobster fisherman and his family from Wells Harbor, Maine. A brand new Love Maine Lobster Claw Game was included in the renovation of the Doug's home.


You can watch a video of the lobster game in action!
http://www.hanna-vending.com/lobstergame2.htm

PETA tells kids "Your Daddy Kills Animals"

"Until your daddy learns that it's not fun to kill, keep your doggies and kitties away from him. He's so hooked on killing defenseless animals that they could be next!"

Those domestic terrorists known as PETA, people want to put animals above people on the food chain, are at it again with their indefensible tactics of trying to pit children against their own parents.

Now they have produced a comic book attacking the American pastime of fishing called "Your Daddy Kills Animals" and send their cult members to fishing derbys to hand out this hate groups (they basically hate people but love vegatables) propoganda.

According to PETA's web site "Fishinghurts.com" PETA’s new comic for kids takes aim at dads who fish and "PETA aims to help kids see the violent bloody truth behind their fathers’ outdoor pastime".

Enough is enough. How sick in the head do you have to be to try to turn kids against their parents?

Goldfish Cracker Mobile

The only way to drive!

The Pepperidge Farm mobile measures 23 feet long and 13 feet tall, and it sports an 8-foot pair of sunglasses. At the events, visitors can play games, win prizes, take pictures with the Goldfish character, and enjoy free samples of Pepperidge Farm treats.

Fish Discovered With Human Face Pattern

A fish that has a pattern resembling a human face on its body was found in a pond in Chongju, South Korea, according to a Local 6 News report.

The news of a fish with a human face spread to South Korea through the Internet after a Japanese sports tabloid reported on the unusual fish.

A South Korean newspaper then carried an article about the fish in South Korea.

The fish is the result of artificial insemination between a carp and ayu sweetfish.

As the fish grew larger, the design on the fish reportedly changed to look more like the face of a human being.

Rare markings on a fish are considered a good omen in some Asian countries, according to a report.

Fish Wine?

From Reuters (via Yahoo! News):

Waiter, There's a Fish in My Wine!

Mon Jan 31,10:36 AM ET Oddly Enough - Reuters

BEIJING (Reuters) - The French used grapes, Russians fermented potatoes,
Koreans put ginseng in their drink and Mexicans distilled cactus plants to
make fiery tequila.

Now China is introducing fish wine.

Sun Keman, an entrepreneur in the northeastern port city of Dalian, has
formed the Dalian Fisherman's Song Maritime Biological Brewery, with a plan
to use his background in the fishing industry to make fish into wine.

"Different from China's thousands of years of brewing, the brewery will
clean, boil, and ferment fish for making wine," the official Xinhua news
agency reported.

The company already had orders from Japan, Russia and other parts of China,
it said.

Tipplers might also take heart in knowing the brew is purported to be good
for them.

"Experts said the wine is nutritious and contains low alcohol," Xinhua said.

North American Man-Carp Love Association

I think this guy is taking his love of fishing a bit too far...

PETA's attack on fishing

Those animal rights extremists are trying to take away the American tradition of sports fishing. Everyone who enjoys the sport needs to be educated on what PETA is and how they are trying to turn America's youth against their parents, friends and society. Here is a great overview of the cult groups attempts to recruit a PETA Army of young children to do their dirty work.

Fool A Fish - ultraviolet vision fishing

By NICHOLAS K. GERANIOS Associated Press Writer
© 2006 The Associated Press

— SPOKANE, Wash. _ In the ancient struggle between man and fish, man has a new weapon. Forget fancy lures, depth charges or precision casting guns. The new weapon requires vision _ ultraviolet vision.

Called Fool-a-Fish, it comes in a bottle that sprays titanium dioxide on fishing lures and bait. The chemical lights up the watery depths like a disco ball, luring fish from half a mile away.

Fool-a-Fish is the brainchild of a Spokane physician named Milan Jeckle _ that's Dr. Jeckle to you _ who combined his love of chemistry and the outdoors into a new business. Fool-A-Fish is earning a growing reputation as anglers from Alaska to Florida enjoy success with the product.

"You catch three or four times more fish, and the biggest fish," Jeckle contended.

Researchers have discovered that while humans see in three colors _ red, yellow-green and blue _ fish and birds see a fourth color in the ultraviolet range, which shows up as a white glow, Jeckle said. This color is invisible to humans.

Working with David Cleary, a chemistry professor at Spokane's Gonzaga University, Jeckle came up with the formula combining titanium dioxide, which is used in sunscreens, and several other chemicals. The whitish liquid dries quickly, and will stay on a lure for some two hours, he said. It is nontoxic, odorless and washes off with soap and water.

But underwater it shines like a beacon to fish.

In November of 2004, Jeckle and two friends went to Moses Lake, in central Washington, to try it out.

"I put it on my bait and caught a 6-pound walleye," Jeckle said. Later he took it to Alaska and caught several 100-pound halibut.

Jeckle said many of the spray products currently used to lure fish are scent-based, because fish are known to search for food by smell.

"This is based entirely on vision," Jeckle said. "This is a new way to fish."

"It's not just blood that attracts sharks," he added. "They can see a swimmer half a mile away."

Jeckle makes up batches of Fool-A-Fish in his kitchen. The spray is sold in some outdoor stores in the region, and it can be ordered on Jeckle's Web site. It is also getting written up in fishing magazines. Northwest Angler said the formula "makes it super easy for fish to see lures or baits from great distances."

Instructors at Salmon University in Tacoma, a guide service and fishing school, also report success with the product. John Keizer, one of its chief instructors, said he found that treated herring caught three fish for every one caught on untreated herring.

Jeckle has also adapted his formula to produce Fool-A-Bird, which works on a reverse principle. Birds use ultraviolet vision to avoid humans, so Jeckle created a formula that when sprayed on a hunter's clothes, body and gun will absorb ultraviolet rays.

"You spray it on yourself and they treat you like a tree trunk or a dead stump," Jeckle said. "They ignore you."

Jeckle grew up in Green Bay, Wis., where he began fishing for perch as a boy. He practiced for three decades as a family physician in Spokane, and went into semiretirement five years ago. That's what gave him the time to develop his products, he said.

Jeckle cautioned that Fool-A-Fish is not foolproof.

"It's not magic," Jeckle said. Some days nothing will make fish bite, and other days they will bite at anything, he said.

"This is for when it's in-between," he said.

___

On the Web:

http://www.Foolafish.com

Fish GrpZ - Fishboy's Ultimate 17 Function Multi-tool Fishing Pliers

Now you can carry the fishing tool that we do - Fishboy's Ultimate 17 Function Multi-tool Fishing Pliers!

There are those times when you wish you could bring a complete assortment of tools, but just thinking about lugging all that weight is enough to make most anglers cringe. Multi-tools offer a way to combine just about all the necessary tools into one easy to cart gizmo.

Don't clutter your tackle box with a pile of tools. Our fisherman's multipurpose tool fits them all in your pocket. This multitool has been designed especially for fisherman, including everything needed when out on the water in a pocket-sized package. This is the only tool you'll ever need on your next fishing trip!

Holy Oscar Fish!

An amazed pet shop owner has discovered markings on the side of one of his fish that he claims spells the words Allah in Arabic.

Tony Walker, 47, who runs Walker Aquatics in Waterfoot, Lancashire, was stunned when a customer told him the Oscar fish had the holy word on one side and Mohammed written on the other.

The Asian shopper immediately splashed out on the £10 fish and even bought a £700 tank in which it will live.


Mr Walker said: "When he first told me about the pattern on the side of the fish I didn't know whether to believe him or not.

"I did wonder if he was nuts but then he said he was going to buy a £700 tank, so I thought he must be serious."

He added: "The fish is about two years old and we've had it in the shop for about eight weeks.

"It just looked like a normal Oscar to me. I had absolutely no idea what was written on its sides.

"Once the writing was spotted though, we've had lots of people coming into the shop to have a look.

"Everyone seems to agree about the markings. It has caused quite a stir."

The albino fish, which has the Latin name, astronotus ocellatus, measures around eight inches long and can grow to 16 inches.

The unidentified new owner must wait six weeks before he can collect the creature but he is expected to return to the shop tomorrow to pick up his tank.

Ouch! That's gotta hurt!

This guy made a built-in drink holder out of his ear lobe!!!